The Law of Entropy says that order will eventually descend into chaos, and that the opposite can never happen. Oh God…I hope that’s not true.
I was born into chaos, the child of Lillian and Carl Arliss. Mom was 15 and dad was 17. They were a toxic combination of violence and resentment, all wrapped up in dysfunction so palpable that it left a scar on everything they touched —especially me. They never should’ve been in a relationship, let alone parents; Lil and Carl had no idea how to love something as helpless as a baby.
They probably wouldn’t have even gotten married if my grandfather hadn’t insisted; and by insisted, I mean he beat the shit out of Carl until he complied. This was after he gave Lillian a few of his patented backhanded smacks that knocked a few of her teeth out. Grandma stepped in to help, but she only got the remainder of the beating he had in mind for his only daughter.
Mom and Dad married the day after he graduated high school; six months later I was born. Not long after that Dad found solace in a bottle, while mom found her peace in the madness that often took her away for weeks at a time.
When mom, as my Dad said, “Went to get her head right,” he’d drop me off at my Grandma’s house until Mom was back home. Granddad hated when I was there, he’d say, “We did our raisin’ of kids Marta, I ain’t raisin’ theirs too!” Gramps was all heart.
On those rare occasions when Mom was around, she always looked at me like I confounded her. She’d smile and say, “How’s my girl?” Then pick up a Virginia Slims and smoke until she fell asleep in front of Jay Leno. Dad was worse, he rarely talked to me, and when he did, it was usually just to yell, “Hey you ugly fool girl, get me something to eat.”
I was to honor my parents —that’s what Pastor Bickell said. So I kept the house clean, cooked their meals, otherwise we all would’ve starved to death in a pile of filth. I know they used to get a check from the state, meant for the minor child in the house. I never saw a penny of it though, they frittered it away on booze, smokes and lottery tickets.
The one thing that damn Law of Entropy didn’t account for was the propensity of humans to start over. The gift God gave us to create order where there was none —by any means, if necessary.
Dad was the one who taught me I could change the direction of my life, but he didn’t realize that’s what he was doing when he beat me for staying out too late with Jimmy Cole. Mom didn’t realize the lesson I learned when she just sat there staring at the TV while it all happened. Fuck Entropy, I wasn’t going to live like this anymore.
It was a cloudless night like tonight when it happened —my metamorphosis. The stars shined brighter then I had ever seen them, before or since. I took it as a sign; God telling me it was okay —at least that’s how I justified it.
I was living with Grandma at the time. Mom just got out of one of her hospital stays, and she along with Dad, drank themselves into oblivion. When I showed up, they were passed out drunk in the living room of that filthy shack we called home. It didn’t take much really, Mom always fell asleep with a cigarette —everyone knew it, they would just think that her luck had finally run out. She was snoring lightly when I left the house. I didn’t look back as it went up in flames.
By the time the fire department arrived they were long dead, not one of them ever woke up. Investigators said cause of death was smoke inhalation, and the fire was started by a cigarette left unattended. Grandma took me in after my folks died, but she never quite trusted me again.
I think life itself violates the Law of Entropy, at least that’s my hope. Because I’ve made my choice —a terrible one indeed. But until then, I knew nothing better.
Nice one, Alice! Thanks.
Thank you Frances!
Really interesting idea to take the second law of thermodynamics and apply it to human life. I have often wondered why it is that some people can rise above difficult circumstances whereas others never manage to. Your character is intriguing – she appears to be telling her story from a perspective far in the future, where she has got away with her crime and turned her life around. I really want to know what happened to her; did she turn out some cold, but controlled and ordered, psychopath? Or did she, once she was free of her dysfunctional parents, actually become a better person? And if so, what allowed her to do this? You hint that it was her grandmother – she seems like the only sympathetic character in the story but we aren’t told too much about her and her influence. I would love to know more – have you written anything else about this character?
Thank you for your kind comments. This was the first story using these characters. I home school my kids, and we were reading through the chapter on entropy, and I thought of a story using that law to explain someone’s life. I love your questions about the character, and truthfully I never thought of going much past what I wrote here, but reading your comments makes me want to extend this into a longer one. Studying her grandparents, and parents, and her life, dissecting things to take a look at what got them to the point where this story begins. Thanks for asking perfect questions that’s making me think about them deeper.
A very nice short story. I felt that the characters have really far reaching histories and deep emotions. For me this looks like a good frame for a longer story.
I got really interested by the history of the main character’s parents, as their marriage and life after that seemed to me as a combination of personal problems, conservative values and bad luck. How this all formed the psyche and personality of the main character would also be interesting to hear. Where is she now and what is she doing?
Hi Mikko, thank you for your nice words. Like Sian above, you both asked such interesting questions about the characters that’s giving me ideas on how to extend this story. I’d like to think that the main character eventually got her life together, but maybe not. She had that tough upbringing than committed murder. It can be quite an interesting tale to tell. Thanks so much for giving me an idea to make this into a much longer story.
A very nice short story. I see a frame for a bigger story with very interesting characters.
I was really interested by the backgrounds of the main character’s parents, as their life starting from their marriage seems to have been a combination of personal problems, bad conservative values and bad luck. How all this affected the main character, would be interesting to hear. Where is she now and what is she doing? Does the past come haunt her?
Alice, you can’t improve on perfection. Leave that masterpiece alone where it belongs at the top of any list. Anything more would be less. Go on to another masterpiece with a new set of characters. You are a fantastically good writer with a head full of ideas. June
Oh my June, you have no idea how humbled and grateful I am to hear your kind words. Writing is my dream, one that I put off for far too long. Entertaining wonderful people like you makes it all worth while. Thank you so much!
I agree with June,as always a great read always wanting more
Thank you Emily!