I brought the spoon down with a loud thwack that sent bits of mashed avocado flying. A few landed on my arms, green freckles on my pale skin. I flicked them into the sink and continued my relentless avocado-smashing pursuit.
Three avocados, two tablespoons of olive oil, and a dash of paprika later, I shoved the bowl of muck into the fridge to cool and set a timer for 7 hours. It would be ready just as the sun was rising.
I tucked the torn magazine page containing the unusual recipe into a folder on my kitchen counter. I caught glimpses of other headlines as I rifled through: 12 Almonds a Day Will Let You Walk in the Sunlight!; One Weird Trick to Cure Sun Sensitivity; Local Woman Can Walk in the Light Again—Doctors are Baffled! Each with a fat red X across it.