It started as a whisper

This story is by Karen Crawford and won an Honorable Mention in our 2017 Winter Writing Contest. You can find all the writing contest stories here.

Karen Crawford went from the frenetic streets of New York City to the sprawling suburbs of Los Angeles. She makes a living designing movie posters with her husband, and writes to exorcise those pesky demons around her and within her. You can follow her creative inspiration on Instagram (@kclosangeles) and Twitter (@kcrawford_).

It started as a whisper and built to a scream.

Ten o’clock. There’s still time.

Ten o’clock. There’s still time.

Ten o’clock. There’s still time!

Dani’s bloodshot eyes opened wide as she came out of her stupor. Turning her head, she glanced at the digital clock on the nightstand. She blinked hard until the time came into focus. Its big red numbers flashed:

10:00 pm.

She had one hour to stop him!

She shot out of bed, tore off her hospital gown and pulled on her clothes. Streaking past the orderly in the corridor, she made it into the elevator just as the door was closing. She rushed out of the hospital and into the sticky night air. Only then did she look around and realize she had absolutely no idea where she was.

Dani checked her pockets and found a set of keys to her apartment, two $20 bills and her cell phone. She turned it on to check the time and her location:

10:10pm

26th and First

She flagged down a taxi and hopped in. “How fast can you get me across the 59th street bridge?”

“Shouldn’t be too much traffic this time of night,” the cabbie replied as he stepped on the gas.

Wiping her hand across her brow, Dani stared out the window as she watched the hospital fade from view. Filled with shame and regret, she sank into the weathered seat as the cab sped onto the bridge. Flashbacks of wasted words and moments of weakness battered her brain. The notion of a second chance was sending her adrenaline into overdrive.

A second chance …

With Johnny, her tall, handsome, smart, charming, dark, brooding guy. Her heart heaved heavily as she thought how life for him had not been easy. He’d done some time in juvie for selling pot after his mother succumbed to a drug overdose. Her death had all but closed the door on finding out who his father was. He spent a year sleeping on friends’ couches until he got clean, turned his life around, and scored a job.

That’s where she met him. It was a summer internship, and he was showing her the ropes. Something about him was cold and intense, but when he smiled it melted her world. Sparks flew — a visceral connection, unlike anything she’d ever felt before. He proposed a year later, and they moved in together. Then, evidence of trust issues quickly surfaced. The more she tried to prove her love, the more he questioned it. Johnny was pushing her away, and it was tearing her apart.

Dani looked anxiously out over the bridge towards Queens, her heart throbbing as she thought out loud, I have to stop him.

“Did you say something, miss?”

“I’m just in a hurry,” she said anxiously, as she looked at the message that popped up on her phone.

It was a single word text from Johnny that read:

GOODBYE.

The cabbie stepped hard on the brakes as they reached the end of the bridge. Traffic had slowed to a crawl.

“Accident up ahead,” he said as he looked at her through the rearview mirror.

Visibly shaken, her eyes blinked rapidly, pooling with tears, as she stared down at the sobering word.

Bad judgment had turned her into a cliché. Leaning on Johnny’s best friend for advice had been the wrong welcoming shoulder to cry on. Falling into his arms had been the biggest mistake of her life.

“Are you okay, miss?”

“I just really have to be someplace,” her voice cracked. “Before 11.”

“I’m sorry, miss. It doesn’t look like we’ll be moving anytime soon.”

Composing herself, she pulled the bills out of her pocket and tapped her phone to check the time and her whereabouts.

10:35pm

Long Island City

“I think I’ll get out here,” she said as she handed him the money. “It’s just ten blocks. It will be faster if I run.”

“Good luck, miss.”

Luck …

Something about the way he said it made her turn around and say, “If only luck had something to do with it.”

Her heart pounding, Dani ran as if a life depended on it. Mentally repeating her mantra:

I have to stop him.

Out of breath, she opened the door, once again checking her phone for the time.

10:45pm

Donovan’s Pub

“You’re back,” the bartender said with some surprise. “You just missed him. I tried to calm him down, but he was totally wasted. When did he start drinking again? I thought he was doing so well. He was rambling, said that deep down, he always knew he couldn’t trust you.” The bartender’s voice trailed off as she raced out of the bar. “What did you do, Dani!? Did you cheat on my cousin?”

Just another three blocks to the apartment. Please God, I have to stop him.

Fumbling with her keys, she opened the lobby door, only to see that the elevator wasn’t working. She inhaled deeply, bolstering whatever energy she had left and sprinted up the nine flights of stairs. She checked the time once more as she reached the top.

10:55pm

Their Apartment

“Johnny,” she said, panting as she rushed inside. “Johnny, are you here?”

The smell of alcohol and marijuana assaulted her. She could hear the song Get Lucky by Daft Punk blasting in the background. Panicking, she darted down the hallway towards the bedroom and came to an abrupt halt. There, she saw him sitting motionless on the bed, something shiny in his hand. The realization of what it was sucked the air out of her lungs. Feeling faint, she felt the last bit of hope slowly seeping away.

Hope …

It was all she had left.

“Where’d you get that?”

Dread washed over her as he sat unresponsively with a faraway look in his eyes. “Johnny,” she pleaded as she twisted the small diamond on her ring finger, “It’s always been you. You are my heart, the love of my life. Your mood swings, they scared me. You were shutting me out. I didn’t know where to turn. I’m so sorry. Please, baby, can we talk about it in the morning?”

His eyes met hers as he lifted the gun to his temple. His pupils were dilated, dark and empty. It was a look she’d never seen before, and it froze her.

“Stop” she whispered, rigid with fear.

The words slid off his tongue slow and slurry, as he put his finger on the trigger.

“Wanna … Get … Lucky …?”

“Stop!” she screamed as the gun went off.

And then her world went black.

“Her boyfriend killed himself in front of her,” the orderly said to the night nurse who was just starting her shift. “She arrived here this morning in a catatonic state. She appears to come out of it, only to slip back in.”

“How so?” the nurse asked as she stood in the corridor glancing at Dani’s chart.

Motioning towards the room, the orderly said, “See for yourself. She’s doing it again; it’s the third time today.”

The nurse walked in as Dani began twitching and started to whisper,

Ten o’clock. There’s still time.

Ten o’clock. There’s still time.

Ten o’clock. There’s still time!

Dani’s eyes flew open, screaming as she came out of her stupor. Turning her head, she glanced at the digital clock on the nightstand by the hospital bed.

10:00 pm

Bellevue Psychiatric Ward

I have to stop him …