by Jim Aldrich
When can what seems to be bad, really be good?
Look around you, listen to the messages you are being given. At every turn, you are bombarded by experts and common people alike. Am I wrong or does it seem that every psychiatrist, psychologist, and most of the general public can’t seem to get their collective heads around this simple truth: What we did was done to set people free, all other options had been exhausted.
It was the torture and death of those 10 women that set much of the country abuzz. Everyone wanted answers, to understand what had happened. Why these 10 women, each married and most had children. Good or evil? You be the judge.
This much I will say, for the first time in a very long time I am encouraged. If I were a gambler it would be safe to say that the odds are changing to our favor. It seems that more people than ever are ready to hear the truth. Our small experiment may provide the answer so many people have been searching for. For now though, I will have my chance to get the truth out.
Outside the cell came an audible click, then the announcement, “7954478, to the med clinic.”
Did you hear that? Listening from in my cell it is all I can do not to scream out. Being a number is unnatural. It’s a scar just like the Nazi’s used to identify their Jewish prisoners. It’s all part of the plan to remove my identity.
But, this is about to change. When this shrink is done, everyone will know why we did what we did. With the right publicity, all of the world will acknowledge the source of my decision, and they will know me by my name.
“It says here that you are 7954478. Do you have a name you’d prefer me to use?”
“Alright then, I’m Doctor Lincoln with the F.B.I. Profiling team. Thank you for agreeing to visit with me. I assume you know why I’m here?”
I’ve dealt with enough of his kind to know this much; If I don’t take charge immediately, he’d be another one who gets my story all wrong.
“Sure do, Doc. But, before you begin with all your B.S. questions, I want to be absolutely clear about one thing. I’m not some kind of side-show freak.”
“Of course not, my only job is to try to understand what goes on inside your mind. Your insights could prove indispensable in preventing such acts from occurring in the future.”
“Yeah, sure, I’ve heard that one before.”
The good doctor’s next question gave me the chance to set the record straight. My answer was both direct and melodramatic.
“Why did you chose a guilty plea over an insanity plea?”
“ Well doc, It was either guilty or an insanity plea, and, as you can clearly see . . .” I took a breath, then, just for effect, I screamed in his face, “I AM NOT CRAZY!”
That got him moving. Immediately, he jumped out of his chair at the same time a guard rushed in. Sitting back down, the doc assured the guard that everything was OK.
As though nothing had happened, my response to the doc was ever so humble, “I’m sorry, I just get so tired of answering the same stupid questions over and over. Let me put it to you this way; In each instance of what society calls my crime, I acted with just cause.”
As I suspected would happen, the doc didn’t blink an eye with what I told him. Like a robot, he went on to his next question; and again, I knew what was coming.
“Yeh, that’s right, just cause. Look it up, doc. “
By now I was getting pretty tired of his stupid questions. Questioning my motive, even my sanity?
“NO, what I did was not just a random thing. That would be sick. The justification for my actions was as clear as it was simple. Somewhere there were laws established about marriage Rules that have expectations for husband and wife. The point of all this was to establish once and for all, how absurd such rules are.
That if we obey those rules what do we get: human suffering. If you’re looking to place blame, place it where it belongs; On the guy who made up the stupid rules. As many people are learning, all this so-called moral crap takes all the fun out of living.”
“Me, judge and jury? You bet! You don’t seem capable of understanding what this is all about, do you doc?”
How I enjoyed jabbing at this idiot. And he thought he was going to analyze me? Right! Finally, I had enough.
“Hold on. Enough is enough. You can stop with the psycho-babble. No, I don’t have a personality disorder. I am not psychotic. I’m neither rationalizing or crazy. Here’s the truth, I stand for freedom. Not freedom as you know it, but true freedom from the cult of God.
If my actions run counter to how the people’s God wants, then I know I did what was right and necessary.”
The doctor sat there so smug. On the outside trying to be so empathetic while on the inside he was seething with anger and disbelief.
“You know doc, you’re not fooling me for even a minute. I can read what’s going on inside your head!”
“So you think. Just to set the record straight, I don’t believe a word your saying.”
“Here’s what I do know, doc! Right now, you have suspended your clinical objectivity. All this talk about placing the blame for human suffering where it belongs; at the feet of your God has you on the defensive. What is it you professionals call it, oh yea, you’re in denial. Am I right?”
As I waited for the proverbial pin to drop, all I could see was Doctor Lincoln collecting his material. It was obvious to me that we had won. As politely as possible and with what I sensed was a genuine concern, he spoke.
“I’m not sure what to say. But, this much is clear to me; your belief that somehow God is responsible for the pain and suffering in the world is both misguided and misdirected. It seems to me that somehow you are at odds with God. No, wait, it goes far beyond your being at odds with God. The best I can tell is that you are dangerously obsessed by what you believe.
Believe me, you are not the first person I’ve interviewed that held a rather bizarre set of beliefs. My faith or however you choose to describe it, remains rock strong.What I am unsure about is how you can torture, mutilate, and then murder 10 women for no apparent reason whatsoever.”
“And that’s where you’ve got it all wrong doc. There was a reason. A very good reason. Those 10 women knowingly sacrificed their lives in order to call attention to all the lies about right and wrong authored by your God.
Without their willingness to demonstrate their loyalty to us, the terrible scars of guilt carried by most of the world’s people would always be present. History is full of these kind of stories. Stories about how your loving God scarred both the body and the soul of what He likes to call his children.”
“Well, my work with you is done. If it is of any comfort to you , and I sincerely hope it is not, your story will be told. Hopefully, in the telling of your story, others will recognize what it is you represent and act accordingly. Any final thoughts?”
“Time already? It seems as though we just began. And yes, I do have a final thought. Actually, it’s an offering to the people of the world. It is time to declare your freedom. Remember who is the real deceiver in this world. ”
And with that, it was over, except for my final words.
“This feels so wrong. Don’t you want me to beg for my life? Say I’m sorry? Hmm, at least make sure you spell my name right it’s LUCIFER.”
Later, I was given a copy of the shrink’s report. In addition to our interview, Dr. Lincoln included an in-depth review of my history, including the murder of my mother for her adulterous ways at the hands of my God-fearing father. As I got to the conclusion of the report, the doc’s words rang out with absolute clarity, “. . . In conclusion and in my best professional opinion, the most honest summary of inmate number 7954478, who self-identifies as Lucifer, is that he did knowingly commit the acts as charged. He did so while being of sound mind. Why this inmate committed these crimes can only be explained this way: he was (is?) possessed by an external influence that I can only describe as Evil.”