Moral Fiber
Thank you for taking my question, General. General! I heard you were disciplined, but they didn’t take away your title. Once a general always a general. They let you keep your title no matter the offense. You’d think they’d remove the title, so history books wouldn’t be filled with crooks, but no: an impeached president, or a president who resigns in disgrace, is a president for life and posterity. They let you keep your title because title equals benefits, so regardless of how profoundly you betrayed your oath of office, and no matter how you abused the public trust, we—we the citizens—will be covering your generous health insurance, and providing you with a cushy pension for life. I wonder how does it feel to be addressed as “General” when you know full well you have no troops to command, nor will you ever have any—okay, never say never, and it’s entirely possible that your friends will make you a front man for a think tank, but an active general? Never again. There are no second acts in the army, so that’s where my question begins.