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Unbound

October 1, 2020 by Fall Writing Contest 2020 54 Comments

This story is by Rashmi P. Menon and won the Readers’ Choice Award in our 2020 Fall Writing Contest. You can find all the writing contest stories here.

Rashmi P. Menon is a multi-genre author and editor. She’s a single mother who dotes on her son, her biggest fan and critic. She frequently posts on her website Confessions of a Writeaholic about writing, books, and her upcoming releases. You can also follow her on Twitter (@impulsivecookie) and Instagram (@confessionsofawriteaholic).

Unbound

There is no fire like the one raging through a wounded mind. The yellow flames hungrily licked the swirling darkness of Laila’s subconscious in a dance of destruction.  

She dragged herself into the bathroom, catching sight of her reflection in the mirror. A ghastly grin tore through her thin, dry lips. Gaunt and skeletal, she saw nothing but gloom and despair in her steel-grey eyes. The figure looking back at her was a shell of her former self, tainted gray by the agony of recent events. Time had only festered the wound. All she felt now was barren and dead. The tragic image pierced her soul. Laila took a deep breath, adjusted her hijab, and returned to her bedroom.

If only there were a hijab to hide the torrent of emotions going through her mind right now.

She picked up the loaded gun next to her school bag and checked its safety clip before putting it into her backpack. Laila walked towards the kitchen, the bag heavy with the explosives instead of her usual school books.

Abba was sitting in his usual spot, eating porridge. His eyes bore into Laila’s for a mere second. She noted the same steel-grey eyes and hollowed expression in them. Sitting next to Abba was Ahmed. Her cousin had followed them from Syria when Laila had escaped with her family to the States, hoping to start over finally. His family was collateral damage in a shootout between a gang of terrorists hiding in his village and the American troops that raided it. 

Laila was twelve when they had landed at the nation’s capital along with the other refugees. Although excited, she was also afraid, always waiting for the next disaster to strike–waiting for the officials to turn them back from the airport, waiting for a mine to go off, waiting for the plane to plunge into the ocean or worse into another building. Despite her tender age, Laila was aware of how the citizens of another country would perceive her family. When their own nation was not accepting of them, how could she expect strangers to receive her? 

But then they had reached the airport without any mines going off and ushered onto a plane that brought them to their intended destination. The immigration officers were kind, leading her to the charity workers who would help her family settle down.

For the next couple of years, she spent her time learning English and adapting to American ways. She started school at the elementary level as she severely lacked the basics. Laila did not mind. She was grateful for the opportunity and thankful for the peaceful life she finally had. Besides, she was a smart girl, and within a year, Laila was at her age-level grade in middle school and preparing for high school. Even Ammi had picked up the language. She’d urge Laila to practice with her so she could go to the grocers by herself. Life was finally looking promising from where she stood. 

Yes, she was grateful for those three years of peaceful living until two significant events changed her world forever. One Ahmed came to live with them, and two, she started high school. Both substantial changes that turned her life upside down—again! 

Laila looked at Ammi in the kitchen with her younger brother, Karim, who was eating breakfast before the school bus arrived to take him to Kindergarten. Karim’s sweet innocent face brightened as he laughed at the cartoon playing on the small wall-mounted TV. He had no idea their world was about to crash around them one more time, perhaps for the last time. Ammi approached Laila with a cup of tea and a plate of scrambled eggs.

“Eat … you’ll need it,” she said, choking back tears. 

Laila shook her head and lowered her eyes. She silently wiped the tears that were threatening to flow. She raised her face and looked at Ahmed. He tilted his head in a slight nod. Abba closed his eyes, murmuring a prayer, his lips quivering as he recited the verse.

With one last look at Ahmed and her family, Laila stepped out of the house and walked to school. She replayed the instructions in her mind.

Walk in, find the bully, shoot him down, then a few more, and before the frenzy begins, detonate the explosives. 

“That’s how you ensure you get them all,” Ahmed had said.

The bag felt heavy against her tender 5’ 2” frame. She wiped the sweat forming on her palms on her skirt. Ahmed’s words replayed in her mind. “You can use this opportunity for payback on your bullies, and I will let your family go, or I can get your little brother to do it for me and ensure your whole family pays for your defiance. You choose!”

Laila remembered staring at her cousin, her eyes wide and brow furrowed, unable to comprehend the depth of his words. It was the first time he had offered to help her with the bully problem she had in school. Was he serious? she had asked herself until she saw his jet-black eyes narrowed, penetrating into her. She had scoffed and laughed at him and excused herself uneasily from his presence.

Everything changed when, four weeks prior, a few of his colleagues came over and took possession of not just her home but also of her body and soul. She recalled the horror, the screaming, the pain, before she had finally broken down and agreed to their plans, bargaining with them to spare her family. She squeezed her eyes shut to erase the memories.

The shrill sound of the bell ringing in her ears brought her back to the present. Laila realized she was on the school grounds. She had to hurry, or she would be late and perhaps miss her targets. Laila quickened her pace and entered the halls of her high school. The hallway, decorated in black and white with checkered floors, sent a chill down her spine every time she arrived. But not today. There was an eerie calmness to her demeanor this time.

Laughter sounded off the walls, joined with animated conversations, and shouts. A couple made out by the corner of the lockers. The stench of stale urine curled from under the restroom doors, mixed with deodorant and body odor in equal measure. 

Laila walked to the center of the hallway and stood watching the chaos of the morning. She pulled her backpack off and hugged it close to her chest. One of the boys she recognized skated by and pulled at the end of her hijab. “Whaddup curtain girl?”

A few students laughed, pointing at her. She hated them. Every one of them. They were not her friends. Nobody in this place deserved her friendship. But did they deserve to die for what they were doing to her? The thought sent a bolt through her, and she pushed it away lest it fester and make her weak. She didn’t need that now; she must only think about saving her family. With her sacrifice, her family would be safe again. 

They will be safe. Ahmed and his colleagues had promised.

She smirked at the thought. Whose word was she trusting? The cousin who’d thrown her to the animals? Or the terrorists forcing children like her to carry out their dirty tasks in the name of jihad? She was no terrorist. She believed in her almighty and condemned acts of hate in His name. Yet, here she was ready to do just what she condemned, albeit in the name of love, if not hate. Hot tears pricked the rim of her eyes.

“Get to class, kids! Didn’t you hear the bell?” the voice of her school counselor emanated from behind her. Chaos erupted as everyone pushed their way through the sea of mostly dejected faces.

Laila stood rooted at her spot. Her hands slipped into the bag and grazed the handle of her semi-automatic pistol. She startled and whirled around as a hand laid on her shoulder.

“Laila, are you alright?” her counselor asked, his words laced with concern that reflected in his eyes. “Do you want to talk?”

She nodded and followed the counselor to his office across the hall. He opened the door for her, and they both stepped inside. Without waiting for him, Laila pulled the gun out of her bag and placed it on his desk. The counselor gasped and stepped back.

Laila opened her bag wider and showed him the explosives. “Call the cops. I am no terrorist,” she said. Laila knew she had just signed the death warrant for Karim, Ammi, and Abba. And perhaps, a life worse than death for herself. Yet, she smiled.

The terrorists might’ve owned her body, but her mind … her mind was unbound. If her sacrifice was what they demanded, then that’s what she’d give them, but on her own terms. If her sacrifice could prevent a disaster, then that’s the path she would choose.

Filed Under: 2020 Fall Writing Contest, Thriller/Suspense

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Comments

  1. Gregory J. McKenzie says

    August 28, 2020 at 1:20 am

    Very good suspense. the surprise ending was well presented.

    Reply
    • Rashmi Menon says

      August 29, 2020 at 12:36 pm

      Thank you so much. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

      Reply
  2. Rageesh Menon says

    August 28, 2020 at 4:56 am

    Enjoyed reading it. Nicely presented.

    Reply
    • Rashmi Menon says

      August 29, 2020 at 12:36 pm

      Thank you so much

      Reply
  3. Jenna Michaud-Bonyadi says

    August 29, 2020 at 2:34 pm

    Great story! Suspenseful and I couldn’t predict the outcome. Nice ending

    Reply
    • Rashmi Menon says

      August 29, 2020 at 5:43 pm

      Thank you, Jenna. I’m glad you enjoyed it

      Reply
  4. Manju Patnaik says

    August 29, 2020 at 5:34 pm

    Rashmi loved it! Just lived it!

    Reply
    • Rashmi Menon says

      August 29, 2020 at 5:43 pm

      Thank you so much, Manju.

      Reply
  5. Page Craw says

    August 29, 2020 at 5:43 pm

    Terrorists’ use of children as pawns is disgustingly real. You have written a powerful story, Rashmi. Hate consumes love and goodness with a seemingly unquenchable fire. But Laila stopped its trek through the landscape of human souls. She became a martyr for good. Well done!

    Reply
    • Rashmi Menon says

      August 29, 2020 at 5:57 pm

      Indeed. Use of children is a disgusting reality of modern terrorism. Thank you for your thoughtful feedback. I appreciate it

      Reply
  6. Janie Miller says

    August 29, 2020 at 6:05 pm

    Oh Rashmi, what a wonderfully written and upsetting story, which is exactly the emotion it is should evoke!! Her family’s life or an extravagant loss of who knows how many lives, but Laila, at her young age, realizes if she follows thru, those men will forever have her mind. Good for her. And very good for you. Nice job. It kept the suspense all the way thru and the ending was a surprise and I was also very grateful.
    I loved your story.

    Reply
    • Rashmi Menon says

      September 1, 2020 at 4:40 pm

      Thank you so much for your feedback, Janie. I’m glad you enjoyed reading it.

      Reply
  7. E.J. van der Velde says

    August 29, 2020 at 7:14 pm

    Amazingly well told story Rashmi!
    Looking forward to reading more of your work 🙂
    Best of luck!

    Reply
    • Rashmi Menon says

      September 1, 2020 at 4:41 pm

      Thank you, Elaine. Likewise, I’m looking forward to reading more from you too.

      Reply
  8. Robert Ochart says

    August 30, 2020 at 9:15 am

    Rashmi, your story is a well written, taut, disturbing, reality of our world today. I felt Laila’s pain and the ethical dilemma she faced. I loved her decision. I look forward to reading more of your work.

    Reply
    • Rashmi Menon says

      September 1, 2020 at 4:42 pm

      Thank you for the feedback, Robert. I appreciate it.

      Reply
  9. Robert Burns says

    August 30, 2020 at 10:34 am

    Hi Rashmi..This is a raw and powerful story. The emotion of the decision to sacrifice your family is portrayed verh well. I love the opening paragraph.
    Good luck and keep writing!

    Reply
    • Rashmi Menon says

      September 1, 2020 at 4:42 pm

      Thank you, Robert. I appreciate the feedback.

      Reply
      • Robert Burns says

        September 30, 2020 at 9:13 am

        Congratulations on winning Reader’s Choice Rashmi!! Fantastic story! I loik forward to reading more of your work.
        Best Regards,
        Robert.

        Reply
  10. Elena Shelest says

    September 3, 2020 at 2:54 am

    Powerful, emotional. Loved it.

    Reply
    • Rashmi Menon says

      October 1, 2020 at 3:16 pm

      Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed the story.

      Reply
  11. Robert Burns says

    September 30, 2020 at 9:14 am

    Congratulations on winning Reader’s Choice Rashmi!! Fantastic story! I loik forward to reading more of your work.
    Best Regards,
    Robert.

    Reply
    • Rashmi Menon says

      October 1, 2020 at 3:17 pm

      Thank you so much for your support and feedback, Robert.

      Reply
  12. Robert Ochart says

    September 30, 2020 at 9:36 am

    Rashmi, congratulations on winning the Reader’s Choice Award!

    Reply
    • Rashmi Menon says

      October 1, 2020 at 3:18 pm

      Thank you so much.

      Reply
  13. Sharon Hetherington says

    September 30, 2020 at 9:53 am

    RASHMI, CONGRATULATIONS on receiving the Readers Choice Award! You had my vote from day 1! So very happy for you

    Reply
    • Rashmi Menon says

      October 1, 2020 at 3:19 pm

      Thank you so much for your support, Sharon. I appreciate it. I’m so happy you enjoyed the story.

      Reply
  14. Rebecca Lea says

    September 30, 2020 at 10:21 am

    Rashmi,
    Congratulations! Readers Choice Award is well-deserved!! Superb job in putting your main character in terrible trouble and placing obstacles throughout your story. Tragically, this could be a non-fiction piece,,, I enjoyed your rich word choice. I pictured myself with Laila right through the end. As others have commented, I think you handled the surprise ending very well. I wanted to read more about these characters than you could tell in 1500 words – perhaps a book?

    Well done!

    Reply
    • Rashmi Menon says

      October 1, 2020 at 3:21 pm

      Thank you so much for your feedback, Rebecca. It makes me happy that you enjoyed the story. I haven’t thought of it as a book as yet, but Laila is a character I love, so I may think along those lines. Let’s see

      Reply
  15. Mallory O'Bier says

    September 30, 2020 at 11:12 am

    An engaging and well-written story! I’m not a big fan of contemporary fiction, but I liked it nevertheless. Good job, and congratulations on winning the Readers’ Choice Award! 🙂

    Reply
    • Rashmi Menon says

      October 1, 2020 at 3:22 pm

      Thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

      Reply
  16. Rekha Thakerar says

    September 30, 2020 at 11:51 am

    Really well written. Full of suspense, emotional turmoil. You kept me on tanterhook until the very end as you built the suspence to an incredible twist, twist and twist to show the dilemma faced by your protagonist. You well deserve the Readers Choice award. I felt privileged to read your work. You are very talented, drawing the reader right into the story to feel as if I was looking and feeling what Laila felt – between the devil and the deep blue. I look forward to seeing more of your work published.

    Reply
    • Rashmi Menon says

      October 1, 2020 at 3:23 pm

      Thank you for the amazing feedback, Rekha. I appreciate it. I’m glad you enjoyed the story.

      Reply
  17. Judy says

    September 30, 2020 at 12:21 pm

    I agree with others here. A powerful and sad story. Well written and I congratulate you on winning the Reader’s Choice.

    Reply
    • Rashmi Menon says

      October 1, 2020 at 3:27 pm

      Thank you, Judy

      Reply
  18. Cathy Ryan says

    September 30, 2020 at 2:44 pm

    Rashmi,
    I enjoyed your story very much.
    Laila is a wonderful character. She had my great sympathy and concern as her story unfolded. With her decision at the end, she has my admiration. So well done.
    Congratulations on winning the Readers Choice Award. Well deserved.

    Reply
    • Rashmi Menon says

      October 1, 2020 at 3:29 pm

      Thank you for the wonderful feedback, Cathy.

      Reply
  19. Deborah Lukovich says

    September 30, 2020 at 5:17 pm

    Congratulations Rashmi! I enjoyed reading your story. I especially appreciated how you began the story and established Laila as a character. It was painful to read it. It painful to figure out how to live in this world so full of hatred and manipulation of religious belief. Do you have a website and can I sign up for your email list? Again, congratulations. I just wrote my first three short stories ever – and I entered one of them in this contest just happy to receive some professional feedback. I am processing what I can learn from your story. Deborah

    Reply
    • Deborah Lukovich says

      September 30, 2020 at 5:18 pm

      Found your website and signed up! Deborah

      Reply
    • Rashmi Menon says

      October 1, 2020 at 4:04 pm

      Thank you so much for your feedback, Deborah. I’m glad the story touched you. Unfortunately, it’s a painful reality for many children. I received notification that you signed up for my newsletter. I hope you enjoy the content on my site.
      Kudos to you for writing and entering the contest. Here’s to more writing!

      Reply
  20. Larry Powell says

    October 1, 2020 at 1:02 pm

    Wow! This is a very well coordinated suspensefully cultural story of disaster possiblely taking a traggic end to innocent lives. But the hero made a righteous decision according to who she really is inside. I loved the descriptive writing. Because of the limited writing allowed in this short story contest the protagonist”s fate is not revealed. I would love to read the finished version if there will be one. Rashmi you are a literary genius. This story brought tears to my eyes. Congratulations on winning the contest. Wow!

    Reply
    • Rashmi Menon says

      October 1, 2020 at 4:05 pm

      Larry, thank you so much for your feedback. I’m humbled by your comment. It makes me happy to know that my words had the intended effects.

      Reply
  21. Chris Campbell says

    October 1, 2020 at 1:08 pm

    Very good, chilling ands true to life for many people as immigrants arriving in a country with different cultures and values. Glad Laila had the courage to stand up for what believed in regardless of the final consequences

    Reply
    • Rashmi Menon says

      October 1, 2020 at 4:06 pm

      Thank you, Chris. Laila is a strong one!

      Reply
  22. Larry Powell says

    October 1, 2020 at 1:25 pm

    Sorry I wrote in my previous comment “I wanted to know what the protagonist fate would be” but I meant to write the antagonist.

    Reply
    • Rashmi Menon says

      October 1, 2020 at 4:07 pm

      I didn’t think beyond the short format of the story, but I will keep in mind to work on it sometime soon.

      Reply
  23. Ralph Askenazi says

    October 1, 2020 at 5:36 pm

    amazing story, just slightly confusing for a more fast paced reader.

    Reply
    • Rashmi Menon says

      October 6, 2020 at 12:19 am

      Thank you, Ralph

      Reply
  24. Ray Kelly says

    October 2, 2020 at 12:43 am

    Hi Rashmi,
    I really enjoyed your story. You paced it well and built the suspense effectively. Your protagonist’s internal voice was authentic and her character was nicely drawn.
    I was glad Laila did not go through with the terror attack she had been forced into but found your ending slightly deflating – in that the family members held hostage were too easily, in my opinion, sacrificed. Perhaps there was more opportunity for tension there?
    Just my thoughts.
    Congratulations on your Reader’s Choice award.
    You are a very good writer, Rashmi and I would happily read anything of yours I saw in the future.

    Reply
    • Rashmi Menon says

      October 5, 2020 at 12:54 pm

      Thank you for the feedback, Ray.

      I agree with adding more tension to the climax, it was something I wanted to as well, but within the confines of 1500 words it was becoming hard to do. The climax/ ending the story was a bit of struggle for me.

      Reply
  25. Preetha says

    March 8, 2022 at 1:42 pm

    Excellent story and super writing, Rashmi. Keep writing

    Reply
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    July 9, 2022 at 5:22 am

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    Reply

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  2. October Author Update - Antonio Roberts says:
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