This story is by Rock Martin and won the Grand Prize in our 2024 Fall Writing Contest. You can find all the writing contest stories here.
Rock Martin is a geologist from Indiana, Pennsylvania who explores the human spirit through his writing. A Penn State graduate, he depicts life’s challenges where the main struggle lies within. Rock enjoys fitness, camping, and hiking with his wife and young son, finding inspiration in nature and resilience.
Another day in my tomb. The dark corner of this musty cave shielding me from the outside world. I spend my days surrounded by trash and stale food, basking in the constant stream of nothingness emanating from the television, dying one day at a time.
I hate my life.
A loud knock echoed through the muffled quiet, jolting me off the couch.
The harsh rap came again, and I weaved through the piles of dirty laundry, reached the door, and turned the knob. My face wrinkled as sunlight poured through the crack and a familiar silhouette greeted me.
“Hey John, how’s everything? Can I come in?” It was Steve.
“I guess,” I replied.
The door creaked as it opened, and Steve stepped past me. His eyes scanned the room, taking in the trash bags, laundry, and old pizza boxes littering the floor. My forgotten life coated every surface.
“I heard about Amanda. I’m sorry man. I know divorce is tough.”
“Yeah.”
“Any luck on the job search?”
“No.”
“Do you want some help cleaning up?”
“No, I’ll get to it later.”
“Later, huh?” Steve’s eyebrows fell. “Come on! Aren’t you sick and tired of living like this? If you can even call it that.”
Heat crept up my neck.
Steve continued. “Look, I planned our annual backpacking trip for the year. The Grand Tetons. But maybe you’re not up for that this time.”
He turned to the door, and I could feel the weight of my life pressing down, itching to pull me under.
“Yes.” I blurted.
He paused and twisted his head to meet my gaze.
“I’m going.”
For a moment there was nothing, then he nodded. “I’ll bring my extra gear and see you in the morning.”
The door closed softly behind him, leaving me alone again in my wasteland. Every corner a reminder of my failures.
Seventeen years earlier Steve and I graduated high school together; how had our lives diverged so much since then? How was I still here, surrounded by trash and hopelessness?
I didn’t have time to sulk; I needed to get ready.
Steve arrived early the next morning, and we were on the road in no time.
The five-hour car ride passed quickly, and the jagged peaks of the Tetons rose up suddenly, announcing our arrival. At the trailhead, I stepped out of the car and took in the unique piney, citrusy scent, cool to the nose, and the sounds of the singing birds and drumming grouse.
“Ready?” Steve asked.
I nodded and together we entered the trail.
The parking area immediately yielded to gravelly bedrock, which cut a sinuous path through a sea of sagebrush along the base of a cirque, dotted with pockets of conifers. The slope gradually increased up to the base of a large granite outcrop.
A few hours in and the straps of my backpack began cutting into my shoulders.
The rugged trail transitioned to uneven blocks of coarse pink granite, mottled with gray. I lurched from side to side as we scaled the switchbacks, leaving sweat marks on the boulders bordering the trail. My feet ached, the pain shooting up to my knees with each step.
“Can we stop?” I labored to catch my breath.
“Slope’s gonna break.” Steve huffed. “Camp is right around the corner, just a little further.”
“Steve, wait.” I leaned back against the rock on wobbly knees, my eyes burning with sweat.
The light pitter patter of rain interrupted my respite. My eyes closed and I sunk back into the boulder as the rain grew harder.
The mountainous world drifted away for a moment, and I was that eighteen-year-old boy again fresh out of high school. I had my whole life ahead of me. How did things go so wrong? How did I get here?
The sharp crack of thunder snatched me back to reality and I lunged from the boulder and back onto the trail.
Steve was ahead, setting up camp.
“There you are,” he joked. “The tent is almost set up. Get your stuff inside to keep it dry.”
Steve prepared some food, and after eating, I immediately retired.
Steve crawled into the tent after cleaning up. “It’s 9 miles to the summit tomorrow. Then all downhill. We’ll camp near the summit tomorrow night, then again about halfway down the other side.”
Steve’s excitement was palpable. He seemed to enjoy the hardships, the challenges.
He always did.
We’d faced many of the same obstacles in our lives, but he always persevered where I walked away.
He had a grit, a determination. Something inside him that I hadn’t yet found in me.
The rain and thunder continued throughout the night. We both eventually fell asleep. Morning would come too soon.
Once we were back on the trail, the aches returned immediately.
The trail narrowed as it bisected a large boulder field, weaving back and forth between protruding rocks, some still slippery from the rain. Passage required climbing up short rocky slopes.
The grainy rocks grinded into my fingers, my fingernails cracking and scraping against the rugged surface. The craggy edges opened bloody gashes on my knees.
I eventually emerged from the boulder field into a pocket of conifers where Steve was waiting.
“Tough section, huh?” Steve sipped his water and looked over the map.
I fell back onto a large rock, catching my breath.
“Steve. I might have to turn back.”
“What? You’re halfway. Look at what you’ve accomplished! One step at a time.”
I couldn’t fight. Steve helped me to my feet, and we continued.
Ahead was another boulder field, the trail through it punctuated with loose scree slopes. I emerged from it wearing more scrapes and bruises, only to find the well-beaten path descending into a stream valley and disappearing under raging water.
The rain had turned the mountain brook into a torrent as rushing whitewater churned against the rounded boulders of the stream bed. Steve was already climbing the opposite bank when my first foot touched the water.
“Take your time and find your footing.”
The icy mountain water reached my trembling knees after my first step. Chills surged through my body.
“I don’t know Steve.”
“You got this!”
Each foot slid along the stream bed, inches at a time; the frigid water now reached my thighs. The toe of my lead foot stopped against a rounded chunk of granite. I tried to maneuver around it, but the reach was too far. My foot continued to slide, forcing me to my knee.
The freezing water rushed through my shirt, splashing against my face, and stealing my breath.
“Steve! Help!” My voice gurgled as water splashed into my mouth.
“John. You can make it. This is your time.”
The bank behind me was so close, only a few feet away. The safety of retreat. It was right there.
I couldn’t turn. I couldn’t go back to the hole I’d been living in.
I’d quit everything in my life; jobs, college, sports teams, friendships, even my marriage. I always folded in the crucible.
Now there was nothing to go back to. No more fresh starts, next times, or tomorrows. I’d used them up. After having what seemed infinite possible choices in my life, I’d whittled them down to just two. Move forward. Or die.
I forced myself back to my feet, flailing my arms for balance. “Steve, I can do this!” I began sliding my feet again across the loose, gravelly streambed. Inch by inch, I pushed through the water, shooting a resolute stare toward Steve. I reached him and he helped me out of the water, both of us collapsing on the bank.
“I can’t believe I just did that!” My voice crackled in disbelief.
Steve wrapped his arm around me. “That was incredible!”
Through tired muscles, a long-forgotten feeling welled up inside me, igniting a wide smile.
The summit was now in sight, and we pressed onward.
I matched Steve’s strides through the remaining boulder fields and the last switchbacks. The untrodden path bringing us to the foot of the summit.
I clawed my way up the last steep section, digging my toes into each crease and crack in the ancient bedrock, finishing the climb on my hands and knees. We emerged together atop the mountain and raised our arms in victory.
Looking over the edge, I traced the trail we’d taken. Each twist, each jagged turn a reflection of every hardship, every moment of doubt I’d faced. They were now just distant scars.
On the other side, the trail descended, winding its way into a new horizon. Clean. Untouched. It stretched before me, open and full of promise. Everything I wanted, everything I could still have. A second chance.
I glanced at Steve, who stood beside me, his steady presence a reminder of the things worth holding on to. He smiled, and I knew what I had to do.
There was no going back. Not this time.
It was time to start living.
Ryan Robertson says
Great read!
Lyn Blair says
The choices are ours to make, indeed. I loved the arc of your story and how the MC came around to owning his journey.
Diane Turner says
Love it!
Rathin Bhattacharjee says
When I found the email relating to the story entitled “The Summit” in my inbox, at first, I tried to ignore it. I have read a number of winning stories in my life and at the end of reading each one of them, I don’t know if it was due to some kind of complex, jealousy or call it what you will, I regretted my wasted time.
So, I started reading the present story with the same kind of mindset and apprehension, mind you. The email contained the first paragraph till : I hate my life.
Now, any reader in my place will have to agree with me that there is something about the opening. Something that pulled you in and made me reread it. The use of everyday words like ‘tomb’, ‘musty cave’, ‘trash and stale food’, and backed up with the phrase ‘dying one day at a time’ and then the finale ‘I hate my life’.
I have had the good fortune of reading innumerable stories, writing no less than a thousand myself but having gone through Rock Martin’s opening paragraphs, I realised why critics stress so much on trying to make the opening sentences like a “hook” to draw the reader in.
Once my curiosity was aroused, reading the rest of the story was easy. As the story progressed, my understanding of the story got better because of the signposts in the form of paragraphs like :
……..and I was that eighteen-year-old boy again fresh out of high school. I had my whole life ahead of me. How did things go so wrong? How did I get here?
Or the one towards the end :
I glanced at Steve, who stood beside me, his steady presence a reminder of the things worth holding on to. He smiled, and I knew what I had to do.
There was no going back. Not this time.
It was time to start living.
What a story of Hope and Courage, Friendship and Triumphs! And what about the elements of the story like Characterization and Setting? The childhood buddy Steve, for example, from the moment he steps in and expresses his sadness at the divorce till the end where John realises the importance of Steve’s presence in his life as something ‘worth holding on to’ – the character of Steve has been delineated masterfully. There is no denying that John is lucky to have a true friend like Steve.
And the character of the protagonist, John, adds the desired cherries on top of the cake. Through the portrayal of his character the writer seems to be conveying an universal message of Hope and Heroism. Rock Martin seems to be reminding us through the characterization of John of never ever giving up whatever be the circumstances; the significance of cultivating ‘the never say die’ attitude and the prospect of a better, brighter tomorrow on the other side.
I am simply captivated by the theme of Hope permeating through the entire story. I find the language no less captivating as well. There is something free flowing, lucid and vivid about Martin’s language in the story. To cite an example, here is the one towards the end :
On the other side, the trail descended, winding its way into a new horizon. Clean. Untouched. It stretched before me, open and full of promise. Everything I wanted, everything I could still have. A second chance.
In the final analysis, simply put “ The Summit” is a mesmerizing story written by a writer destined to go far in the literary world. I wish writer Rock Martin all Success and Happiness in the days ahead.
My sincerest gratitude and A Big Thank You go to Short Fiction Break too for sharing this story with me.
Anne says
There is a change of tense after the first three sentences. The story starts out in present tense. I think the change to the past tense is an error. Tense should be consistent, unless a change is intentional. eg the person is speaking or writing his thoughts in present then the story changes to past. It is an interesting story, though.