Short Fiction Break

Break From Reality. Daily.

  • Stories
  • About
  • Staff
  • Contests
    • Current Contest
    • Past Contests
      • Spring 2022 Contest
      • 10th Anniversary Contest
      • Spring 2021 Contest
      • Fall 2020 Contest
      • Summer 2020 Contest
      • Summer 2019 Contest
      • Fall 2018 Contest
      • Summer 2018 Contest
      • Spring 2018 Contest
      • Winter 2017 Contest
      • Fall 2017 Contest
      • Summer 2017 Contest
      • Spring 2017 Contest
      • Winter 2016 Contest
      • 5th Anniversary Contest
  • Submit

The Cabin

May 13, 2019 by Phil Town 23 Comments

The Cabin

How did I come to be here? Well, let me prepare some tea and food while I tell you my story. You get settled by the fire; you must be frozen.

It was some years ago, I am not sure how many — it could be five or fifteen; time seems not to move here. Like you, I climbed that rocky path on the north side. Did they tell you down below not to take it? Yes, they told me, too. But my sense of adventure — and my pride, it must be said — got the better of me.

For half a day I trudged up the path, which, as you know, gets very steep and tricky after the first full bend. I was having problems — slipping on the shale, making very little headway. I could have gone back, and that would have been the sensible thing to do. But my pride again.

So I went on, and in the late afternoon, when the snow started, I found an overhanging rock that afforded me some shelter. It snowed for two whole days. I finished the little food I had brought with me and got to thinking that I might never leave the mountain.

Then on the third day the blizzard stopped and I dug my way out of the snow that had accumulated around the rock. It was a brilliant morning, the sun throwing sparkles onto the immaculate white carpet that covered everything around. I guessed the direction of the invisible path and, though feeling very weak, endeavoured to continue on my way.

It was hard going. I did not have my snow shoes, and my legs disappeared up to the knees with each step. But I knew that it was a question of going on or going back, and while my legs were faltering, my intent was not.

When I reached the top of the first ridge on that third day, I was horrified to note that the summit and the valley beyond were much further away than I had imagined. I made a quick assessment of the situation and came to the conclusion that without food or snow shoes, and with the fatigue I was already feeling, there was no way I could make it now. So I took the painful decision to go back, and I was actually about to turn when I saw the first wolf.

It was standing near the tree-line to my right. I was downwind from it, so it could not detect me by scent, but I do not know why it failed to see me. Then two or three other wolves emerged from the line of trees. I did not wait around to let them spot me. I waded through the snow and plunged into the pines to my left. The wolves started howling behind me, and I just kept going.

After what seemed like hours, but it could have been mere minutes, the howling began to fade and I breathed a little more easily. The problem was that by now I was completely disoriented. Following my tracks back might have meant coming up against the wolves, so I slogged blindly downhill. Then I saw it.

Through the tops of the pines, a thin plume of smoke. There is no smoke without fire, and here on the mountain, I surmised, no fire without shelter. So I made for the smoke, and after another half hour or so I came across this cabin, as you did.

How is the tea? Warming, yes?

He made me tea, the man who was in the cabin before me. He told me how he had come to be here, rather like I am telling you. How he had also got lost and had come across the cabin. After a few minutes, my eyes began to droop. I imagined that it was the fatigue — the lack of food, the climb. The man smiled at me, and that smile brought me to my senses; it was an odd mixture of pity and euphoria and it chilled my blood. As did what he said next.

“Before you slip away,” he whispered, not unkindly, “I have to tell you what is happening and what will happen next. The thing I have put in your tea is sending you to sleep. It will be a deep sleep. When you wake, I will be gone, and the cabin will be yours. You will try to leave but you will be unable to; something will hold you back at the door. I do not know what that something is. I wish I did. Like me, you may spend your time here wondering just that. You will stay here until the next person comes to take over — to be the next keeper of the cabin. This is exactly what the person before me said, and she told me that I was to pass this message on to you, as you will pass it on to the next.”

I can see that you are nearly gone. Please do not think badly of me. When you wake, it will be as the old man before me said. Do not panic — I know that is easy to say. But there really is nothing you can do, only wait. Wait for the next.

And so, my friend, I bid you farewell.

Now sleep.

Filed Under: Drama, Hot, Magical Realism

About Phil Town

Phil is a teacher (of English as a foreign language) and translator (Portuguese > English) in Lisbon. In his spare time he writes screenplays (features and shorts) and short stories; he’s a regular contributor to Short Fiction Break. He also writes about Portuguese football (soccer) for the British independent football magazine When Saturday Comes.

« The Need for Fire
The Bad Man and the Fixer »

Comments

  1. Pamela Coleman says

    May 13, 2019 at 5:12 pm

    Thank you. I really liked this short story. It held me in suspense until the end!

    Reply
    • Phil Town says

      May 17, 2019 at 8:00 pm

      Thanks very much, Pamela. Glad you liked it.

      Reply
  2. Janet says

    May 13, 2019 at 7:03 pm

    I want more. This could make a great story. I want to know more about what is going on. Why they went alone? How long each person stays and where do they go nwxt? Are they dead? Love this!

    Reply
    • Phil Town says

      May 17, 2019 at 8:02 pm

      Thanks, Janet. The answers to all your questions are … in your head! 😉

      Reply
    • Sandra Cosby says

      July 31, 2021 at 7:54 pm

      No there not but they are hurt bad.

      Reply
  3. Steven Martinson says

    May 13, 2019 at 8:43 pm

    I agree with the last responder. Great set-up for a novel!

    Reply
    • Phil Town says

      May 17, 2019 at 8:05 pm

      Hmmm … novel … (scratches chin). Thanks, Steven.

      Reply
  4. Riekie Greyling says

    May 14, 2019 at 4:46 am

    Stunning short story! May I please use it in my English classes to teach my students the Freitag pyramid?

    Reply
  5. Phil Town says

    May 17, 2019 at 8:06 pm

    Thanks very much, Riekie. (I don’t see why not – if you think it suits.)

    Reply
  6. Mitchell C. Whitaker says

    May 18, 2019 at 4:57 pm

    It is a very compelling story with a great cliff hanger ending.

    Reply
    • Phil Town says

      May 22, 2019 at 11:46 am

      Thanks very much for the read, Mitchell, and the kind comment.

      Reply
  7. Geeta.S says

    June 8, 2019 at 2:42 am

    Loved the short story. Excellent. The end came as a real surprise. Can’t stop reading it again and again.
    But who’s the “she”?
    Geeta

    Reply
    • Phil Town says

      June 9, 2019 at 5:17 pm

      Thanks for the kind words, Geeta.

      (There are four ‘keepers’ in the story, and ‘she’ is the first of them … but probably not the first of all …)

      Reply
  8. Jayeeta Chowdhury says

    June 11, 2019 at 11:02 am

    Marvelous! As I was reading the story, I created the picture. The Man inside the Cabin must have been waiting to be free. He must have known the ways after staying inside the Cabin for some time. I think the narrator got trapped now and he will try the same…he has too. Sorry I am killing the suspense. But very well done! Good!

    Reply
    • Phil Town says

      June 12, 2019 at 10:48 am

      Thanks very much for the positive comment, Jayeeta.

      (You’ve got the idea … except the narrator is the one able now to escape the cabin. His/Her interlocutor is the one who’s stuck!)

      Reply
      • Jayeeta Chowdhury says

        June 12, 2019 at 1:13 pm

        Oh, Gotcha!

        Reply
        • Phil Town says

          June 13, 2019 at 7:33 pm

          😉

          Reply
  9. Baraa says

    June 12, 2019 at 4:30 pm

    I loved the style, it is not a typical one. The narrator is talking to someone, addressing him or her in the second person… I felt I was that person!
    I agree with what some readers wrote above, this can be the first page or two of a great novel.
    Waiting to read more of this,
    Regards,
    Baraa

    Reply
  10. Phil Town says

    June 13, 2019 at 7:35 pm

    Thanks very much, Baraa!

    (Will think more about the ‘novel’ idea …)

    Reply
  11. KL says

    April 6, 2021 at 7:18 pm

    Quite clever!

    Reply
    • Phil Town says

      April 7, 2021 at 5:09 pm

      Thanks, KL!

      Reply
  12. Melissa says

    April 19, 2022 at 3:33 pm

    Very clever and well written!

    Reply
    • Phil Town says

      October 9, 2022 at 11:06 pm

      Thanks very much, Melissa!

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Top Stories

Scar

...

Read More »

White Horses

...

Read More »

WingTips

...

Read More »

Do not let a boy move in after the first date

...

Read More »

Starry Night

...

Read More »

Resources for Writers

The Write Practice | The Write Shop
Let’s Write a Short Story | Character Test Podcast | Point of View Guide | Best Software for Writers | How to Publish a Short Story

Best of Short Fiction Break

Suspense Short Stories | Magical Realism Short Stories | More Coming Soon

Story Ideas

Short Story Ideas | Mystery Story Ideas | Romance Story Ideas | Thriller Story Ideas | Fantasy Story Ideas | Sci-fi Story Ideas

CONTACT || PUBLICATION RIGHTS || Copyright © 2023