The Subway

This story is by Zoe Condos and was part of our 2024 Spring Writing Contest. You can find all the writing contest stories here.

A piercing screech jolts her awake from a fitful slumber. Disoriented, she blinks with heavy eyes. The noise persists, gradually fading until it ceases altogether. With a start, she sits up on the uncomfortable metal bench, hears a woosh and an echo of doors slamming shut and watches a train leave.

A subway station, that’s right.

She had sought refuge here during an unexpected downpour on her way home from work. The heavy rain had turned into a thunderstorm and a few minutes of respite from the rain had turned into an hour at least. By the sound of it, the storm continues outside, and she is thankful for a dry place to wait it out.

She didn’t mean to fall asleep but isn’t surprised really. Work has taken over her life. Sixty-hour work weeks had taken their toll. She is exhausted. Dark circles shadow her eyes, her once shiny blonde hair hangs dull and lifeless on her shoulders. She hasn’t squeezed a workout in for several weeks and the stress makes her forget about food more often than not. She feels miserable; unhealthy, uncomfortable in her own skin and unhappy.

What a day. And tomorrow it’ll start all over again.

Tears well up in her eyes.

I don’t think I can do it anymore. I’m ruining myself.

But isn’t this what she worked for since…forever? As far back as she could remember, she wanted this job, this career, the money and the status it brought. Now she can’t remember anymore why she wanted all this. Her boss’s relentless demands for unwavering dedication 24/7 is unsustainable. She must give up so much.

She hasn’t seen her friends in weeks and her mother keeps bugging her to visit soon. She eats crappy, frozen food which she has delivered to her doorstep because she can’t find the time or energy to go to the grocery store herself. She gave up trying to clean her apartment weeks ago and begrudgingly hired the cheapest housekeeping service she could find. It all weighs heavily on her; she is at her breaking point. Deep down, she had known it for weeks but denied herself to see the truth. Other people seem to be able to do it! Why couldn’t she?

She lives in the heart of a bustling city, where the streets hum with the energy of a million souls and their myriad dreams, yet her social life is nonexistent. She hardly has time to enjoy the active nightlife and bars or simply make new friends. She is working herself to death and misses out on her own life.

Is it worth it?

In the years to come the path she is on will provide financial security. Once she crosses into a managing position, she will be able to relax. Or so she thinks.

But is there ever a time to let go and just enjoy life?

Another train comes and goes; she hardly notices. The noise registers only in her subconscious, but it is late and not many people board the train, only a few stand on the platform. Amongst them is a guy about her age, dripping wet, he must’ve not made it out of the storm in time. She watches him while he is talking on the phone, notices the worn backpack and frayed jeans he wears. When he hangs up, he meets her gaze for a moment before looking away again.

She sighs, once more focusing on her dilemma. Her current life isn’t what she wants anymore. Maybe she never had wanted this, but rather a romanticized version of it. A version of an ideal life as imagined by a competitive young adult. She’d finish college summa cum laude and get a prestigious job in the big city. She’d get an apartment downtown so she could walk to bars and nightclubs, meet her friends after a long but fulfilling week at work. She’d enjoy her social life, maybe meet an ambitious guy she clicked with. Eventually they’d move in together, go on vacation and get married after a while or not. She wasn’t too sure if she wanted to get married. Some days it seems a natural goal, but most days it isn’t something that crosses her mind, she is too focused on her job.

Her thoughts are interrupted by the handsome stranger with the frayed jeans sitting down next to her on the bench. He thanks her when she scoots over a bit to give him more room. Playing with an almost dry strand of her hair, she minds her own business, ignoring the stranger. Subconsciously she keeps glancing at him, checking him out. His black hair is a bit longer and dripping on the subway floor. He nurses a hot coffee, the steam billowing from the paper cup. He is just sitting, arms resting on his thighs. She wonders what he is thinking about and then immediately thinks it a strange thought. He is a total stranger, why would she be interested in his thoughts? There is plenty on her mind right now, so she tries to focus on herself once again.

She could take a few days off to recharge, but her boss would probably be furious. Her parents, highly successful people in their respective line of work, would be very disappointed. Her friends would be surprised; she is the go-getter. Happy to work and be challenged; on her own path, making tons of money and living the best life. That is the dream. Or it was the dream until now.

But what do I want?

I want to get enough sleep and feel rested. I want to go for a run and be sweaty, take long hot showers and meet my friends for lunch. I want to enjoy my time on earth when I’m young and not postpone it until later. I miss my family. I want to just hang out for a weekend and do nothing of importance. I want…

“What are you going to do?”

Interrupted in mid-thought, bewildered, she faces the stranger next to her. His voice had rung out deep and soothing. He has soft, brown eyes and a bit of stubble all over.

“Excuse me?”

“The rain. It is not as heavy anymore. Are you staying here all night or are you going to risk it?”

His mouth curves into a smile, dimples showing on his flushed cheeks. She is flustered and glances at the subway exit. She hasn’t noticed, but he is right, the storm has lost its intensity. The rain falls lazily now from light grey clouds. Suddenly she is sad. It is just an ordinary subway station, but it also is so much more. It is the place where she was honest with herself about her life for the first time in ages. It is the refuge she didn’t know she needed. A refuge to ask herself important questions. Maybe she would find answers here too. Her lonely apartment is dark and empty. She can’t bear going home. Not yet.

“I think I’m going to stay actually.”

His right eyebrow raises slightly as skepticism reflects across his face and almost immediately softens once again.

“Are you sure? If you want, I could stay a while, so you’re not alone. Subway stations are not known for being safe for pretty young women.”

Her heart skips a beat.

Why is he so nice?

“You still don’t remember me? Ouch.”

He touches his chest right above his heart in mock injury, faking a heart in pain, before he looks back at her, smirking.

“I’m Jake. We briefly met a few weeks ago.”

He smiles at her, this time a wider, friendlier smile and studies her carefully. Her mind is completely blank. Every day is the same, just work and more work. Where was she a few weeks ago when she could’ve met him? The silence stretches awkwardly, when suddenly a vague recollection begins to form. A distant memory, so blurry she can barely reconstruct it. Jake scratches his beard with his thumb and suddenly she knows. She has met him! At a friend’s birthday bash. He is a friend of a friend, but they were introduced.

“Oh my gosh! Yes, of course. My name is…”

“Emma” they say at the same time.

The midnight train rushes into the station, brakes screeching loudly, sparks flying. They shake hands and as soon as they touch, she can feel electricity going through their fingers. The incoming train brings with it a strong breeze of cool air, making her hair blow chaotically around her face. Her fingertips tingle and her breath catches. She can feel herself relax, like his presence and touch sooth her. It is as if he personifies the courage she needs to change her life. Right then and there she knows her path needs to change drastically. She already admitted to herself what she doesn’t want. Maybe it is finally time now to figure out what she does want from life.