This story is by Anna Vreeling and was part of our 2019 Summer Writing Contest. You can find all the writing contest stories here.
Three weeks ago, my boyfriend picked my best friend and me up. We were dumb, messing up, and everything went wrong — ambulances, darkness, screaming, and pain. Three weeks ago, I had a best friend, but not anymore.
Here I am three weeks later isolating myself from the world in my bedroom. I stared at the blank pages of a notebook Hannah had given me for my birthday. She knew how much I loved to write, yet I hadn’t written a damn thing.
Hannah was gone. Her chocolate brown eyes and light brown wavy hair. A heart warmer than the sun and personality brighter than the sky. Matthew hated me. We had dated for two years, ever since freshman year of college. He helped me adjust to college life and a new town. I had left my parents, but Hannah came with me, and being that her parents are wealthy, they came down with her to make sure she would be okay. Matthew became our friend really quickly, and soon, we started catching feelings for each other.
Hannah was never a third wheel in our relationship. We all would hang out, and Hannah even brought her boyfriends. Her relationships never really lasted long, and the last boyfriend she had was super special until he cheated on Hannah and they had a really messy break-up.
Matthew really cared for Hannah, so after that break-up, he always texted me he was with Hannah. I thought it was just something sweet he was doing to try and cheer her up, but after the accident, he told me otherwise.
When we were walking out of the hospital after the crash, Matthew confronted me and told me everything. The night of the accident, he had gotten drunk. He wasn’t himself, but I hadn’t noticed. At the end of it, he told me he loved Hannah and that our relationship wasn’t going to work. Not then, not now.
My eyes filled with tears ready to burst, I couldn’t take it. I had nobody.
My parents didn’t care for me, they never really did. My best friend was gone, and my boyfriend just left me.
Everything that could have gone wrong just did.
I was stupid that evening to not realize how drunk Matthew really was. All I could see was the light flash right before my eyes directly as we drove head-on into the mountainside. Ambulance sirens going off for what seemed like hours. Screaming from Hannah, what I thought was just shock. The screaming getting faint. I was hopeless, useless, and somehow still alive after that night. I had woke up in the hospital only to hear everything from the nurses. The minute I was dismissed, I ran out till I saw Matthew. After that talk, I ran home to my apartment, crying. Never looking at the world for anything ever again.
Here I was in the corner of my bedroom, knowing I had ruined two peoples lives. It should have been me and not Hannah.
My phone buzzed, the doorbell rang and just like the last three weeks all I did was ignore it and stare at the blank notebook. It must have been past midnight, and for the first time I was tired, I rested my head on the cold wall falling asleep in a matter of minutes.
I woke up angry at myself for falling asleep; tears continued running down my face onto the notebook that was still open to pages completely blank. I then realized the excessive number of buzzes coming from my phone. Without thinking, I got up and looked at my phone. I started crying so much harder. “Rest in peace, Hannah. We are here for you, Charlotte and the Danvers family.” It was trending.
I felt overwhelmed and guilty. I was getting all this attention for no absolute reason. I saw a text message had come through from Hannah’s mom. It was about Hannah’s funeral. It was going to be this Saturday at the local church. Mr and Mrs.Danvers had hoped I would say something about Hannah at the service. I didn’t know what I was going to say. First off I was the one who killed her, second, the chances of me running into Matthew were very likely, and he was the last person I would want to end up seeing. I destroyed his life as well, the life he was supposed to have with Hannah.
I was so extremely overwhelmed; I started to scream. I screamed, hoping heaven would hear me calling to come. I was pulling my hair out, in the hope, it would make me feel better, but I started feeling much worse. The pain began to grow stronger. I stopped screaming and instead started crying so much I could barely see my surroundings anymore.
I woke up again with my eyes feeling like they had been pinched with a thousand needles. My head was throbbing, and the pain was excruciating. I looked around my room. I was sitting near my phone, on the other side, I saw the notebook in the opposite corner. My bed was against the wall across from me, but I couldn’t make myself go and lay down because I didn’t deserve somewhere lovely and warm to rest.
I sat there wholly wrapped up in my mind. I stared at the blank notebook for so long my eyes started straining. I somehow managed to pick myself up and grab the notebook and a pencil. I leaned against the wall and slid myself down till I felt the ground under my bottom again. I closed my eyes; I took a deep breath, opened my eyes up again, and started writing. Today was Friday, and that speech had to be done before tomorrow, and there were so many memories I wanted to share.
I wanted to share Hannah’s story as long as I lived because she brought so much happiness into my life, she deserved my life except I got stuck and I would be living it for her, with Hannah in my mind and heart every step of the way.
I was going to be happy for Hannah.
My name was Charlotte Langdon, and I was living for my best friend Hannah because she deserved to see all the wonders in the world she never had.