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Crazy Love

April 6, 2021 by Spring Writing Contest 2021 72 Comments

This story is by Robert Ochart and was part of our 2021 Spring Writing Contest. You can find all the writing contest stories here.

The disheveled mop of hair atop Raul’s six-foot-eight-inch frame towered above the crowd. My gaze followed him as he snaked his way through the nightclub. He didn’t look in my direction, but I willed him to do so. I expected some acknowledgment he messed up and wanted to return, because despite his many screw-ups and countless humiliations, I’d take him back.

Raul worked the room like a polished politician, waving and smiling and introducing his female companion to our friends. I wanted to punch the smile off his face because they had been my friends first.

I tried to lose myself in the rhythmic beat of the music as sweat beaded on my forehead and moisture developed between my breasts and under my pits, but our eyes met, and he smiled, showing off the Chiclet-white veneers I paid for, which only made me shimmy harder.

The band finished the set, and I raced to the restroom without looking in my friends’ direction. My first night out in the three months since the miscarriage and break-up, I suspected my friends were looking to see if I would fall apart, or go ballistic, both of which were possibilities. I wanted to avoid their self-righteous condemnation, or worse yet, their pity.

My heart palpitated like it was attempting a prison break through my chest, so I used yoga breathing techniques to calm down. After wiping the perspiration from my face, from between my breasts, and from under my arms, I walked out of the restroom with my head held high and shoulders pushed back. I sashayed across the floor with my hands by my side, owning the room, just as I instructed my dance students.

I returned to my table, and my best friends, Sophie, and Juan, seated with their significant others, Alfredo, and Andres, stopped talking. Their eyes darted from me to Raul, seated at the neighboring table, and back again. I wanted to let out un hijo de puta but refused to give Raul the satisfaction. When he glanced in my direction, I turned away and blew a kiss to a former admirer across the room.

Juan ordered me a mojito, and everyone remained quiet, until Andres said, “Well, if no one will tell her, I will.” He leaned towards me and said what sounded like, “Dress button cracked.”

I inspected my dress. “What buttons?”

“Girl, you need to take your dress out your butt crack.”

My ears burned at the thought of everyone seeing me walk through the club with my dress up my ass. I lifted my butt off the chair and tugged on the material when I overheard Raul’s date say, “She’s an old lady. I didn’t realize you did charity work.”

Jumping from my seat, I moved towards Raul’s date, wanting to show her the old lady could still kick her ass, but Juan interceded and steered me to the dance floor.

“They’re not worth it,” said Juan.

“Did you hear her?”

Looking over Juan’s shoulder, I saw Raul and his date in an animated exchange. I imagined Raul chastising the woman until he leaned over and kissed her.

“What do you expect out of the mouths of children?”

My eyes watered. “Why is he doing this to me?”

“He’s an ass.”

“With all the clubs in New York, why does he come to my favorite place?”

“He’s cruel.”

“And then to throw that young girl in my face, in front of my friends.”

“A lack of respect.”

“After ten years, I deserve better.”

“That’s what happens when you mess around with someone half your age.”

I smacked Juan across the shoulders. “I’m only ten years older than him.”

“Same shit.”

“I haven’t told anyone, but I’m closing the business. We’re broke.”

“What happened?”

“Money disappeared.”

“Raul?”

“He denies taking it.”

“Did you report it?”

I hesitated, and Juan’s eyes met mine. He said, “Don’t be a pendeja.”

“He wants to remain friends, but how can I be friends with someone who treats me as he does?

“Friends? He needs to be arrested.”

I scanned the room. “Shh. Everything happened so fast: the money, the baby, and then him leaving. I was devastated. Tonight is the first night I haven’t stayed home crying.”

Juan lowered his voice, “So, he’s screwing you and anyone else he can, AND he’s a thief? He needs his butt kicked. Say the word, and I’ll do it myself. We’ll see how those bitches like him when he gets his ass kicked by a queen.”

The floodgates opened, and tears streamed down my face as I laughed at the thought of five-foot-nothing Juanito kicking Raul’s ass.

We danced until I almost forgot why Juan took me out to dance. I loved salsa music with its blaring horns, pounding congas, and its rat-tat-tatting timbales; salsa made me move in ways too embarrassing to move otherwise. And I’d dance with anyone who’d ask, unlike the divas waiting around for non-existent dream partners. If someone had the courage to walk across the dance floor and ask to dance, I owed it to the person to accept. Plus, it was good for business.

Raul and his companion disappeared by the time we returned to the table, and I flopped in my chair, parched. “Where’s my mojito?”

“I put it to good use,” said Andres, before he slurped the last of the drink. He flagged down the server. “Bring her another mojito… extra strong.”

“I told the asshole he needed to leave before you returned,” said Sophie.

“I missed you.” We hugged, and a teary-eyed Sophie nodded in agreement. I appreciated her witnessing what happened, since she had defended Raul when I told her of his previous transgressions. Our friendship deteriorated when she suggested my insecurities chased him away, and if not for Juan and Andres’s anniversary gathering, we would’ve continued inventing convenient excuses why we couldn’t get together.

“Can you believe what that bimbo said?” asked Andres.

Juan scowled at his lover, and pointed at the mint leaf between his teeth, but Andres sucked his teeth and continued. “Can’t be a day over twenty-five. She’ll get hers. Wait until old age drops her ass and those tits to the ground. I see it at the gym every day.”

“I don’t think time affects implants,” said Alfredo.

“Please change the topic,” I said. “Fredo, dance with me.”

“I’m just here for the company and the music.” He winked at Sophie. “I will not embarrass myself.”

“I’ll lead.”

Before I convinced Alfredo to dance, the band stopped playing and Raul and his date walked on stage. Raul took the microphone. “Ladies and gentlemen, my apologies for the interruption, but I would like to thank the band and the management team at Club Ecstasy for allowing me to share this special moment with you.”

Raul retrieved a small box out of his jacket and dropped to one knee. I tasted blood as my incisors bit into my lower lip. That should be me. I was the one who changed you from a trapo mojado into what you’ve become. Me! I should’ve called the police when the money disappeared. The same money you used to buy that ring. Now I’m broke, forced to close my business, and you’re moving on.

“Stephanie, we’ve only been together for a short while, but it’s the quality of our time together that makes me feel I’ve known you my entire life. As my soul mate, I can’t think of anyone else to spend the rest of my life with. Will you marry me?”

The yoga classes and the freaking pretzel positions; the five AM jogs on the boring-ass treadmill; the bacteria injected into my face; the rabbit food that left me starving; all of it, for nothing. You still left for someone younger.

Was it because the doctor said I could no longer have children? We would’ve. A son, our son, if I hadn’t continued working to compensate for the missing money.

“Yes, yes, I’ll marry you.”

I thought I was your Dulcinea?

Raul struggled with the ring, so Stephanie helped push the ring pass her knuckle.

Raul Delgado, that will be the last time you humiliate me.

Amidst the applause, whistling, and clanging of glasses, I pulled my SIG P238 out of my purse and shot him.

I’m a terrible shot. I missed Raul, but lucky me, the bullet ricocheted off the congas and hit him, anyway. He now has a permanent limp.

Raul and the bimbo hosted a lavish wedding attended by my traitorous former friends. The newlyweds moved to Scarsdale, and I’m sitting in a six by eight awaiting my mental health evaluation for my insanity defense. I’ll have to live with the pain and humiliation of having lost everything: my love, my child, my money, my business, my friends, my freedom, and my sanity.

I’d be better off dead.

Filed Under: 2021 Spring Writing Contest

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The Month End Bankrupt »

Comments

  1. Carrie Packo says

    April 9, 2021 at 2:06 pm

    Brilliantly written! I didn’t expect that ending…

    Reply
    • ROBERT OCHART says

      April 11, 2021 at 8:12 pm

      Thank you, Carrie.

      Reply
    • Colette Scaletta says

      April 11, 2021 at 8:43 pm

      This was a very interesting piece had my attention the entire time! I want to hear more! Well written!

      Reply
      • ROBERT OCHART says

        April 11, 2021 at 8:52 pm

        Thank you, Collette! I’m glad I was able to capture your attention for the entire story.

        Reply
  2. Phyllis Hicks says

    April 9, 2021 at 2:51 pm

    Wow!.
    Like a fish on a bait line…you hooked me.
    I kept swallowing the barbed point even as I watched the cricket swim away!

    Reply
    • ROBERT OCHART says

      April 11, 2021 at 8:16 pm

      Thank you, Phyllis! Be careful with the barbed point. Lol

      Reply
  3. Dennis Ochart says

    April 10, 2021 at 10:39 am

    I enjoyed this story.

    Reply
    • ROBERT OCHART says

      April 11, 2021 at 8:19 pm

      Thank you, Dennis!

      Reply
  4. Jeannette Burgos-Ochart says

    April 10, 2021 at 12:04 pm

    Beautifully written! I enjoyed watching the character develop.

    Reply
    • ROBERT OCHART says

      April 11, 2021 at 8:21 pm

      Thank you, Jeannette!

      Reply
  5. Virginia Ortiz says

    April 10, 2021 at 5:57 pm

    Very real. Enjoyed reading!

    Reply
    • ROBERT OCHART says

      April 11, 2021 at 8:24 pm

      Thank you, Virginia! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment on my story.

      Reply
  6. Efraim Ayala says

    April 10, 2021 at 6:05 pm

    I want to write the short screen play. Call me!

    Reply
    • ROBERT OCHART says

      April 11, 2021 at 8:25 pm

      Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my story. I will be calling.

      Reply
  7. Raymond Rodriguez says

    April 11, 2021 at 12:42 pm

    Great read! Loved it. Definitely had me hooked from the start!

    Reply
    • ROBERT OCHART says

      April 11, 2021 at 8:28 pm

      Thank you, Raymond! I’m glad you enjoyed my character’s story.

      Reply
  8. Will Reyes says

    April 11, 2021 at 1:49 pm

    Nicely written, enjoyed.

    Reply
    • ROBERT OCHART says

      April 11, 2021 at 8:29 pm

      Thank you, Will. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment on my story.

      Reply
  9. Yvonne says

    April 11, 2021 at 4:22 pm

    Great story. Talented author

    Reply
    • ROBERT OCHART says

      April 11, 2021 at 8:32 pm

      Thank you, Yvonne!

      Reply
  10. Iris Johnsen says

    April 12, 2021 at 12:41 pm

    Robert, Wow!! I really enjoyed reading your story. I congratulate you, it is brilliant!

    Reply
    • Robert Ochart says

      April 12, 2021 at 2:02 pm

      Thank you, Iris! I’m glad you enjoyed the story.

      Reply
  11. William Rodriguez says

    April 12, 2021 at 2:58 pm

    Robert, you continue to amaze me with you story writing. Well done…got some flashbacks of my days hanging out at the Salsa club….luckily did not get shot!…lol

    Reply
    • Robert Ochart says

      April 12, 2021 at 3:33 pm

      Thank you, Will! Lucky you not getting shot. lol

      Reply
  12. Guy Dabney says

    April 12, 2021 at 7:25 pm

    Well written sir!

    Reply
    • ROBERT OCHART says

      April 12, 2021 at 7:28 pm

      Thank you, Guy!

      Reply
  13. Zaadia C Colon says

    April 12, 2021 at 9:01 pm

    Very nice short story. Well written!

    Reply
    • ROBERT OCHART says

      April 12, 2021 at 9:10 pm

      Thank you, Zaadia! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment on my story.

      Reply
  14. Joey Sanchez says

    April 13, 2021 at 12:52 pm

    As I read the story I felt as if I were watching a movie! I was involved. I want more.

    Reply
    • Robert Ochart says

      April 13, 2021 at 1:15 pm

      Thank you, Joey! I’m glad the story transported you.

      Reply
  15. Noelia Galarza says

    April 13, 2021 at 2:16 pm

    Really enjoyed reading the story. It felt as if you were involved in it not just reading it. It was a good write. Looking forward to your next one.

    Reply
    • ROBERT OCHART says

      April 13, 2021 at 2:19 pm

      Thank you, Noelia for taking the time to read and comment on my story.

      Reply
  16. Alberto Acevedo says

    April 13, 2021 at 3:30 pm

    The author knows how to transmit details in the story in a way that bring the characters and the settings to life. I enjoyed the story.

    Reply
    • ROBERT OCHART says

      April 13, 2021 at 4:04 pm

      Thank you, Alberto. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment on my story.

      Reply
  17. Gloria Mitchell says

    April 13, 2021 at 8:40 pm

    My mouth dropped at the unexpected ending. Well written

    Reply
    • Robert Ochart says

      April 13, 2021 at 8:48 pm

      Thank you, Gloria! Glad you were surprised. Lol. Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

      Reply
  18. Jose L Castillo says

    April 13, 2021 at 11:06 pm

    Robert, you amaze me with your imagination.

    I enjoyed reading this story. Now, finish writing your novel!

    “With all the clubs in New York, why does he come to my favorite place?’ reminds me of the famous line in Casa Blanca, “Of all the gin joints, she had to come to mine”. Dulcinea was young and beautiful, in Don Quixote’s imagination, “I thought I was your Dulcinea?” makes me imagine that this older woman is trying to relive her youth with a younger man who’s only interest is in her money. He takes everything she has. Like Don Quixote, she’s living in a dream. Don Quixote battles windmills, and she battles with her age and beauty.

    Your description of the music as they danceed, made me want to get up and dance. Unfortunately, my dancing days ar long gone.

    I enjoyed this story and I’m looking forward to all the stories you’ve yet to write.

    I don’t think I quoted Rick’s line from CASA BLANCA exactly, so do forgive me. I don’t know if you have seen the movie. It’s one of my favorite Humphrey Boggart movie whee he does not play a mobster.

    Reply
    • Robert Ochart says

      April 14, 2021 at 6:28 am

      Thank you, Jose! I appreciate you catching me paying homage to Casablanca (“Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine”) and to Cervantes.
      I’m glad the story made you want to get up and dance. Btw, I’m a great chair dancer. Lol
      Once again, thank you for taking the time to read, comment, and vote.

      Reply
  19. Daisy Kinsler says

    April 14, 2021 at 6:20 am

    Robert, I’ve known all these years that you are an amazing story teller! ❤️

    Reply
    • Robert Ochart says

      April 14, 2021 at 6:31 am

      Thank you, Daisy! I appreciate you taking the time to read my story.

      Reply
  20. Myrna says

    April 14, 2021 at 3:36 pm

    Wow Great story I thought I was part of it at one point hope to see a movie of it one day

    Reply
    • Robert Ochart says

      April 14, 2021 at 3:43 pm

      Thank you, Myrna! I’m so happy the story transported you to the club.

      Reply
  21. Myriam Ochart says

    April 15, 2021 at 4:10 pm

    I laughed and enjoyed story. Great dialogue

    Reply
    • Robert Ochart says

      April 15, 2021 at 4:48 pm

      Thank you, Myriam. Glad you enjoyed the story.

      Reply
  22. Patty Wernhardt says

    April 15, 2021 at 5:41 pm

    I love the descriptive details. Very captivating!!!!

    Reply
    • Robert Ochart says

      April 15, 2021 at 5:49 pm

      Thank you, Patty! Glad you enjoyed the story.

      Reply
  23. Diane Baranda says

    April 15, 2021 at 10:57 pm

    Wow! Another winner! I always look forward to your stories, and the day I’ll say, “I knew him when…”

    Reply
    • ROBERT OCHART says

      April 16, 2021 at 5:19 am

      Thank you, Diane! I’m glad you enjoyed the story. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my story.

      Reply
  24. David says

    April 16, 2021 at 8:58 am

    Vividly written. Well done.

    Reply
    • Robert Ochart says

      April 16, 2021 at 9:09 am

      Thank you, David.

      Reply
  25. Betsy Leyden says

    April 16, 2021 at 9:55 pm

    Nice story. Well written.

    Reply
    • ROBERT OCHART says

      April 16, 2021 at 10:11 pm

      Thank you, Betsy! Glad you enjoyed the story.

      Reply
  26. Saritza says

    April 16, 2021 at 11:11 pm

    You, describe every move and action, one feels part of the drama. Couldn’t put it down.
    Great job Robert.

    Reply
    • ROBERT OCHART says

      April 16, 2021 at 11:13 pm

      Thank you, Saritza! I’m glad you enjoyed it. Just like CP days. Lol

      Reply
  27. Vivian Hernandez says

    April 17, 2021 at 11:19 am

    Great read! Surprised by the ending!! It was too short; I’d love to know how the trial went!

    Reply
    • ROBERT OCHART says

      April 17, 2021 at 1:18 pm

      Thank you, Vivian! Stay tuned.

      Reply
  28. Wilfred Vera says

    April 17, 2021 at 11:54 am

    I really enjoyed the story and want to read more of your stories.. Keep writing. It was a true pleasure.

    Reply
    • ROBERT OCHART says

      April 17, 2021 at 1:16 pm

      Thank you, Will!

      Reply
  29. Aracelis Ortiz says

    April 17, 2021 at 3:38 pm

    Wow! Congratulations!
    Well written .

    Reply
    • ROBERT OCHART says

      April 17, 2021 at 4:17 pm

      Thank you, Aracelis!

      Reply
  30. April says

    April 17, 2021 at 5:21 pm

    Robert, this story is well written. I believe many people can identify with the entire text. Your words are poignant and so truthful. Please don’t ever stop writing, as I will read whatever you publish.

    Reply
    • ROBERT OCHART says

      April 17, 2021 at 5:32 pm

      Thank you, April! I appreciate your kind words.

      Reply
  31. Jimmy says

    April 17, 2021 at 9:54 pm

    Robert, you made me feel as if i was in that club, and i almost got to know those people,….
    unlike most of the folks on here, although i was somewhat surprised, I loved the ending…..
    keep up the good work..

    Reply
    • ROBERT OCHART says

      April 18, 2021 at 4:30 am

      Thank you, Jimmy! I’m glad the story transported you to the club and the characters felt believable.

      Reply
  32. Kat says

    April 18, 2021 at 10:38 am

    Robert your descriptive storytelling is very engaging! I enjoyed it all the way through.

    Reply
    • Robert Ochart says

      April 18, 2021 at 10:40 am

      Thank you, Kat!

      Reply
  33. Louise Manning says

    April 18, 2021 at 5:18 pm

    This was a great story! Great job.

    Reply
    • Robert Ochart says

      April 18, 2021 at 5:28 pm

      Thank you, Louise!

      Reply
  34. Mark Ochoa says

    April 24, 2021 at 10:06 pm

    Nice work. I enjoyed reading your story.

    Reply
    • ROBERT OCHART says

      May 13, 2021 at 6:56 pm

      Thank you, Mark.

      Reply
  35. Claudia Moore says

    May 2, 2021 at 5:29 pm

    Robert: I really love how you describe emotions, tensions and environment. I clearly envision what you’re taking about as I read. Gotta love it!

    Reply
    • ROBERT OCHART says

      May 13, 2021 at 6:57 pm

      Thank you, Claudia!

      Reply

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