At the front door, a uniformed officer is throwing up violently into a rose bush. Detective Inspector Bennet turns to his sergeant, Cole, and raises an eyebrow.
“Bloody beginners,” he mutters as they enter, past another officer guarding the door.
“We’ve all been there though, haven’t we sir?” Cole observes.
Bennet shakes his head.
“Nah.”
They move through the ground floor of the house towards the back, where other officers in Tyvek suits stand in a doorway. One sees the D.I. and the sergeant and breaks away from the group.
“What have we got, Tilly?” Bennet asks.
Tilly lowers her mask and pushes the hood of her suit back to reveal a face that’s whiter than normal.
“Well …”
She swallows hard and avoids eye contact with Bennet.
“I’ve … I’ve never seen anything quite like it, sir.”
“Let’s have a look then, shall we?”
Bennet makes to move to the back room. Tilly grabs him by the sleeve.
“I must warn you, sir, that—“
Bennet removes her hand.
“Don’t be daft, Tilly! C’mon, Cole.”
The two push their way past the forensic officers and stand at the doorway, peering in.
At first glance, it’s difficult to make out the furniture, but Bennet eventually identifies a sofa, an armchair, a table and a television. The sofa and armchair are beige, but that isn’t their predominant colour now; now they’re a glistening scarlet, as are the table and TV. The carpet and walls are splattered the same colour. Here and there, pieces of flesh sit or hang. Bennet spots a couple of fingers next to the armchair. On the sofa, the hair matted and in disarray, half the head of a woman. A coppery smell, mixed with the stench of faeces and urine, hits Bennet in the face, and he feels the bile rise from his gut.
~~~~~~
Cole finds Bennet in the back garden, leaning over a flower bed, and lays a hand on his shoulder. The gesture seems only to trigger another convulsion.
“Don’t—” Bennet moans, before retching once more, drily this time.
“I wasn’t—”
“Just don’t.”
Bennet straightens, wiping his mouth with a handkerchief. He takes several deep breaths and tightens his tie.
“So, tell me.”
“As far as we know,” Cole consults his notebook, “that is … was … a Mary Abbot, single, 35, lived alone.”
“Boyfriend?”
“I’ve got Perry looking into that.”
“Cause of death?”
Cole coughs to disguise a laugh.
“Okay,” Bennet nods, “silly question.”
“You know, sir …”
Cole pauses, wary of annoying the D.I. with what he’s about to say.
“C’mon, Cole. Spit it out, man.”
It’s Bennet who spits, though, on the ground, wiping his mouth again.
“You know what happened in London last night? That old lady—mutilated?”
Cole lets Bennet finish his thought.
“You think there might be a connection?”
“The M.O. is the same: victim ripped apart, window shattered outwards, suggesting … I don’t know. Panic? Or crazed flight?”
Bennet sets off across the lawn towards a side gate, with Cole in tow.
“Okay, they’re similar. But where does that leave us?”
“Well,” continues Cole tentatively, still afraid of the D.I.’s reaction. “I heard they’ve brought in a lycanthropologist for that case.”
“A lycan what?!”
Cole clears his throat.
“Lycanthropologist, sir. It’s a specialist in … in werewolves.”
Bennet stops and peers into Cole’s face—illuminated by the moonlight—searching for the wind-up but seeing only sincerity. He bursts into angry, sarcastic laughter.
“Don’t be a dickhead, Cole. I told you when we partnered up what I expected from you: no ‘out-there’ theories. Always follow the most sensible route. Standard procedure—that’s what gets our man.”
“I know, sir, but—”
“No ‘buts,’ sergeant. Let’s get back to the station and start doing some proper police work.”
~~~~~~
They drive into the night, Cole at the wheel. Bennet’s annoyed with himself for his reaction to the murder scene and with his colleague’s naivety, Cole chastened by his superior’s upbraiding of him.
Driving through a wooded area, the road lined with fir trees, Bennet glances at his partner and begins to thaw. Although he knows he was just being pragmatic, perhaps he was a little harsh in his manner earlier.
“Listen, Cole,” he says. “You’re a good cop. Probably the best partner I’ve had.”
Almost visibly, Cole relaxes.
“But you know, we really do have to keep our feet on the ground. This job’s complicated enough without bringing in nonsense like—”
He doesn’t get to finish his sentence. Cole brakes and wrenches the steering wheel to avoid hitting the thing that’s leapt across the road in front of them. The car screeches, swerves and spins, overturning and sliding to a halt on the grassy verge, the headlights illuminating the nearest fir trees. Bennet, upside down, knows that his legs are broken.
“Cole! Cole! Are you all right?!”
The D.I. twists to get a look at his partner. The sergeant stares back, his head at an impossibly unnatural angle in relation to his body.
“Cole!”
Bennet’s sobbing now. He claws desperately at his safety belt but stops at the noise: a loud snuffling close by. He glances at Cole again, at the same, staring, lifeless face; the sound isn’t coming from him. Then all at once he knows. Trembling at the realization, he turns to peer out of the side window.
On that remote stretch of road, there are no witnesses to what happens next: the smashed window, Bennet’s desperate screams, and a hunched, unnatural form feasting on its prey.
I really like the story a lot. It really sets the stage, and keeps the reader waiting for what’s next. Some of the responses seem standard for this format, and that might be what you want, but I would change a few things. For example:
Listen, Cole,” he says. “You’re a good cop. A great partner, but, we really do have to keep our feet on the ground. This job’s complicated enough without bringing in nonsense like—”
Cole brakes and wrenches the steering wheel to avoid hitting the thing that’s leeping across the road. The car screeches, swerves and spins, overturning and sliding to a halt on the grassy verge, the headlights illuminating the nearest fir trees. Bennet, upside down, knows that his legs are broken.
FOR THE ENDING, why not end it after NEXT, and skip the screaming and feasting.
Once again, I really like it, and would like to see where it takes you.
Thanks, Eric, for the read and the suggestions. Yes, you may be right about the ending (though I know that some readers like to have things tied up neatly.)
Well done, Phil! This mashing of crime and horror is always fun (disturbingly fun) this time this time of year.
Eric gives great advice regularly. I would add that, to heighten tension, instead of having the pair driving back to ho-hum “real police work”, they be off in a hurry maybe following up on a hot, time-sensitive lead on *this* case.
I love reading your work, Phil.
Thank you, Nona!
I get what you’re saying about ‘real police work’. In fact, I’d intended it to be work connected to the case in question, though traditional rather than speculative (to satisfy Bennet’s wish for routine methodology). But perhaps it would make more sense to stick nearer the crime scene.
This is superb, I`ve always been a fan of horror with Stephen King being my favourite author and is is very much in his style. Great job well done. I`m sure you could make this into a real novel.
Thanks for the kind words, Chris. That’s a thought! (about the novel)
Great story! When reading through the scene wasn’t expecting the culprit to be a werewolf, so that was a good surprise! I would possibly describe the car wreck a sentence or two more because I didn’t realize that had happened for a moment and had to re-read the sentence before. Definitely a great idea for a novel.
Thanks very much, Joanie. I wanted the crash to be short, sharp and shocking, but maybe you’re right – there could have been some more details perhaps.
I like thrillers, so I found your story to be exciting! In the aftermath of the car wreck I would have liked to see that the inspector didn’t cry and scream as much as being in shock and trying to annualize what had happened with more emphasis into his partners death and how he would try to free himself to get the help needed. Could he possibly radio in or call for help from his phone? Leaving him to wonder more on what had crossed in front of the car to cause this crash that had killed his partner.
Thanks, Deborah – glad you found it exciting. Yours is a good idea about the cop, but I really did want to show the contrast between his arrogance at the house and his vulnerability after the crash.
It is an amazing story, written with precision and very well thought out conversations.
I really enjoyed the story. The thrill was on throughout the story.
I could delete the last paragraph. As we already got the hint of the werewolf.
i would just add the smashing of the windows after the line below. and a few words to end.
“Trembling at the realization, he turns to peer out of the side window.”
It also shows a strong message that overconfidence may not be good at the end.
Thanks for the kind words, Tahmina. Yes, you and Eric have a similar idea about the ending (see my comment to him). I think that would have been a good alternative.
Thanks for another well written short, Phil. You developed the characters well with economy of words.
I second the suggestion to finish the story at ‘next’. We can kind of shoot ourselves in the foot with phrases like ‘there were no witnesses’, followed by an explanation, because clearly there was at least one – the author.
One little timing thing bothers me. In my limited knowledge of werewolves, they only transform on the night of the full moon so I wonder whether the previous case that Cole refers to should be ‘last month’, rather than ‘last night’? Also, do they eat more than one person in a session? (Maybe depends how hungry they are). Perhaps I need to consult a lycanthropist to be sure.
Well done on keeping the stories coming.
Thanks for the read and the good suggestions, Joy. I’ve addressed the ending with Eric and Tahmina (above). The narrator is ‘omniscient’, so can see what the characters are feeling, and what happens on that remote road. And apparently (I had to google it), the moon is technically only perfectly ‘full’ for a brief instant every month, but in practical terms, stays full for up to three days. 🙂
Loved this ..Wish it was a tad bit longer so I could relish more of it ..perhaps a sequel ?
Thanks very much, Mamata! I suppose it could be the introduction to a longer piece…
Yes please..looking forward
A gripping story with all the tropes of the horror genre. Interesting interaction between the cops, one pragmatic, the other open to believe in the supernatural.
Thanks for reading and commenting, Mahrukh. Glad you were gripped!