My Scar

by Teng Kim Yen

“We finally make it! It’s been 5 years after testing and twisting!” said dad. He is jumping up and down non-stop.

“Yes dad! The damn ship can be shrinking into millimetres size scale. This is going to be huge!” I said.

Dad and I had been working hard on our scientist project for changing any large object into millimetres size. This could be benefit for many possibilities. Imagine you can put a space ship into a small container.

“But dad, can the ship can be changed back to the normal size?”

“I afraid it is not so easy. But we are half way there. I just need more time to study at the formulae and data. It is doable.” said dad.

The room is full of equipment. It is randomly filled with books, apparatus, microscope, and a black board. My dad is wearing a thick frame spectacle, white hair, and a white lab coat. I am wearing the same as him. Both of us are physicist in the same university. So, he is my senior.

I walked down to the kitchen to find some food. There are dirty dishes and pots in the basin. I go to the refrigerator and open it. There is no food but beers. I started to think about my mum. She is always the one who cooked for us. Her best dish is also my favourite food, meatballs spaghetti. I remember I could eat them for weeks. Now she is gone. I hope she still remember dad favourite food.

“Dad… there is no more food in the fridge! What do you want me to order?!”

“Yes! Give me a set of MacDonald burger meal! The one with the spicy fried chicken in it!”

“Roger that.” I replied. “Ordered the same food again.” I murmured it to myself.

After 15 minutes, the delivery man finally reached. I took those foods upstairs with two set of meal on both my hand. I saw my dad keep looking at the formulae. I think he is standing at the same spot before I left him.

“Dad, it is time to eat!” I said.

Once my dad hears me, he sits on the chair and put his hand on his meal. Before he eats the burger, he stares for a while and his face started to change. I looked at him and know what he is thinking.

“Dad, just stop staring and starts to eat. Staring it won’t make her come back.”

“It just…” He started to eat the burger with his eye closed.

I wanted to say more but I did not want to hurt him. He suffered as much as I am. I remember the time when my mum left him. The words she said to hurt us. I am the same shoe with my dad. She said we could not spend more time with her. She feels alone and isolated. Those words are still repeating in my head.

“Dad, don’t think so much about it…….okay?”

As I was speaking, I feel my head is getting dizziness. My vision started to get blur. I dropped my burger uncontrollable. I feel that I can no longer sitting straight on the chair. My backbone is no longer under my control. I fall down and all turn black.

The first thing I saw is my mum resting her head beside me. I did not see her for so long but I could remember the smell of her hair, her face and her dark long hair. She is sleeping beside me. She did not know I was awake. Behind her, I saw the small figure of my dad. He is sleeping on a chair. It’s been long that we had finally had a small reunion.

I move my finger bit by bit toward her. I touched her hair. I did not notice that her skin is getting more lines. She is older compare with the last time I saw her. Her eyes begin to open slowly. She looks shock.

“Oh my god… You awake!” she said. Her tears begin to fall a little bit. “Thank god!”

She shouts loudly to my dad. “Wake up John! He is awake!”

My dad wake up and he looks happy with it. He comes to my bedside and combs my hair with his right hand as he always did when I was small. But, I did notice a small distance between my dad and my mum. They are not really as close as last time.

“Son, did you know what happen?”

“I don’t really know. I remember I was sitting in the research room and eating my meal with you. And then, all the sudden, it turns black. After that, I am laying down here.”

“Well…” He looked at me with a bad expression.

“Is it my heart issue coming back? It’s been a while now…”

My mum began to take over. She came closer to me.

“Son, there is a small blood clots in one of your heart artery. But the doctor is unable to perform surgery because the blood clot is too near to your heart. It is impossible to do open heart surgery to take it out. And we are running out of time….” She said.  

She started to cry and turns her face to the other side so that I can’t saw it. My mum is also a famous physicist. She doesn’t usually emotional. But, I guess her emotion just trigger her.

“Son, stay strong. We will find a way to save you.”

“Dad, I know my body. I don’t have much time left. I almost die in the last 6 months. There is the same thing happen to me again. I think my time has come. Don’t spend any more money on me.”

“You know I can’t just do NOTHING. I won’t let you die!”

“Then, you should finish our project. That’s what I really hope.”

“Our project? All you care is the project? We care about you more than anything else in the world!”

My mum begins to turn back and look at us. My dad holds my hand tighter than ever. My mum holds my other hand. At that moment, I feel that I am back to when I was small. We are all so happy together.

We used to walk on the street every morning after buying groceries and chicken from market. My dad and mum use to hold my hand and swing front and back. Their smiles are the sweetest. There is nothing else matter. The moment is precious.

She used to prepare dad favourite fried chicken burger for him. Then she will prepare meatball spaghetti just the way I love it. We sit together and talks about physics. It is them who spark my interest in physic.

As my dad become famous for his theory of shrinking, his ego began to affect our family. He will ask me to help him to continue his research based on his theory. He wanted to proof his theory is correct. He talks nothing else except his research. Since then, there is no more family walk.

I saw my dad talking with mum outside the ward through the door window. I saw my mum hugging my dad and cry even more. But they came in and hold my hand until I was asleep. I hope this is my last day of my life.

As time passes, I wake up with blur vision again. This could be the heaven that people talked about. Everything around me is white in colour. I try to move my body. The hands and legs are alright! My head migraine had gone! I am finally free from suffering!

I walked to the window and watched the blue sky. Why I am still in the same hospital? Maybe there are someone coming to pick me up from the same place I die? So I sit down on a chair. It is the chair which my dad used to sit. I noticed there is a scar on my right arm near arteries.

I did not remember I have this scar on my hand before. It is weird to appear even I am going to be an angel. Then there is a person opening the door.

It is my mum.

“Mum, did you die too? What is happening?” I asked.

She did not say anything until she came near me and take out a small container. I saw the container and wonder what it is. I noticed there is a small toy ship inside the condition. The ship is isolated by some type of glue underneath it.

Her tears began to fall down. I started to remember where I saw the container before. It was the same one in the research lab.

“It is your dad inside the ship. He goes through your body through the scar on your arm and destroys the blood clots near your heart. Now, he stuck in the ship forever…”

My tears fall.