This story is by Iman Llompart and was part of our 2023 Fall Writing Contest. You can find all the writing contest stories here.
I rocked in my chair, rubbing my temples and stretching the skin on my face. A familiar sting had plagued me for the last six months, running through my head. I dropped my hands, letting them hang limp for a second, then pushed myself off with a deep sigh.
I took in my surroundings, the only light filtering in was the sun’s rays struggling to illuminate my bedroom through the slivers of my black makeshift curtains.
Every morning I woke up, turned on my computer and stared at the empty screen. I hadn’t produced a word in six months and time was limited. The longer I stayed in this agonizing state the more I worried that my mother had spoken the truth. Before she passed away, I used to embrace challenges, but she took my resilience with her, and now, her favorite saying was taunting me.
‘If you avoid life’s trials, you awaken and release shadows into the hidden corners of existence.’
I doubled over at my desk, clutching my chest and stomach in a six-month-old pain. Instead of a gasp escaping me, a beastly growl erupted from my throat. I straightened as the stabbing from within subsided only to cover my ears when the same growl appeared again, but this one didn’t come from me.
“Don’t turn around,” I whispered as I closed my eyes and hugged myself, trying to stay calm. I knew exactly where that eerie noise came from. I had always heard weird sounds — a yelp, the weighty rasp of breath, or the scrape of claws — just before facing life’s challenges. The inhuman melody would always cease when I confronted those trials. Now, however, I found myself lost in a vast pit, breeding nothing but despair. For the past six months, I had ceased my duel with life, allowing these ominous sounds to fester and evolve into something more menacing.
I opened my eyes when the unbearable noise slowly dissipated and focused on the board above my desk, littered with clippings of my written accomplishments, my mom’s doing. I used to think it was kind of obnoxious but now the “champion board”, as my mom called it, made me feel incompetent and comforted all at once.
“I warned you about this, Neilina! If you don’t face it, you’ll turn!”
I jumped at the voice and twisted around, staring at the left corner of my room.
I squinted, trying to get a better look at what stood there. At first, nothing, but then white shimmers started to fall through my ceiling and grouped together to create the shape of a woman.
I froze where I stood. I could only watch, slack jawed, as this woman transformed into someone I once knew.
“Mom?” My voice cracked, feeling heavy against my throat.
The tall, slightly overweight, now translucent figure gave me a sad smile. Her dark braided hair and complexion once vibrant and full of life, now muted.
I supposed death did that to you.
“What did you do, Nei Nei?”
I involuntarily recoiled at the nickname.
She stepped closer, until she was just a few feet away from me. “You stopped fighting.”
“How could I? Your death destroyed me!” I gasped. Struggling to breathe, I doubled over again, pressing my forehead into the back of my chair.
I suddenly felt something cold against my back, seeping through my clothes and running deep into my bones. I snapped upright, knowing that my mother had just attempted to comfort me, and failed for the first time.I turned and looked into her dull brown eyes. “Why are you here?”
“Because you’re stuck!” You are….”
We both snapped our necks towards the growling, now coming from the hallway outside my bedroom. I ran toward the door and slammed it shut, locking it just as it made contact with the wooden barrier.
“Do you really think that is going to do anything?” My mother stalked toward me, her white gown glittering in the dark.
“Shut up!” The last syllable came out as an inhuman guttural sound in my throat.
My mother covered her mouth in disbelief, a translucent tear streaking down her face.“Hiding won’t do anything, you’ll only get worse.”
I balled myself on the floor, writhing in pain as the pounding on the door intensified. Splinters of wood chipped off and sprinkled me with the force of the banging.
“What the hell is that?” I got up, still in pain and hobbled over to my desk. I picked up the edge trying to pull it towards the entrance to use as a barricade.
“Help me!” Another otherworldly growl erupted from me as I glared at my mother.
“How do you expect me to do that?” she asked, gesturing to herself in a ‘I’m a ghost kind of way’ and crossing her arms.
She took a step forward and placed her ice-cold hands on my cheeks. “You aren’t helping yourself. This will do nothing.”
I sagged on the floor. The banging getting louder, the wood bending and breaking against the force of that thing on the other side.
“I can’t,” I said, hanging my head in defeat. The stabbing pain was getting worse, causing me to gasp.
“You will. Your champion wall is the perfect example” My mother said as she knelt in front of me. “I know you are better than this. You can do anything; you’ve already achieved so much.”
I felt something cold lifting my head until I made eye contact with my mother. I wanted to ask her so many things. How did she come? What was it like wherever she was? Was she at peace? Was she happy? But before I could ask those questions another growl ripped through me, coinciding with the beast’s roar outside my door.
My mother threw her arms around me causing me to convulse in response. It felt like someone had thrown ice cold water on me and I fought to remove myself from her embrace, but she wouldn’t budge.
“I believe in you, don’t let it take over,” she whispered in my ear.
Warmth crept through me, and my mind was flooded with memories of my childhood and of my mother comforting me. Even though I had tried to keep myself from crying this entire time, I could no longer hold it in, and I broke. We rocked back and forth on the floor, hugging each other knowing this couldn’t last forever. I felt like I was holding a ball of air, something extremely delicate that would dissipate at any moment.
“I am so proud of you, Nei.”
Suddenly, fire coursed through my bones and muscles, and I no longer saw the apparition of my mother and yet her presence was everywhere. Before this encounter, I had been in pain, but now, I had a renewed sense of hope, and I wasn’t going to let this last moment with my mother go to waste.
The growling and claws tapping on my wooden floors jerked me back to my precarious situation. My bedroom door was kaput, and the monster was inches away from me. I jumped up and stood, waiting, as it got closer. Its claws reminded me of a raptor with a muscled black body like a larger, taller Pitbull and its head a cross between a wild boar and a wolf.
I gasped as it drew nearer, wanting to make a run for the closet, but knowing that was not an option.
“Not giving up,” I whispered.
The monster growled, soft and menacing.
I started shaking and pacing in place, trying to get rid of all the bad energy. “I can do this.” My voice and the growling grew louder.
The monster was only three feet away from me now.
“You. Can’t. Hurt. Me!”
The monster raised its hackles and roared. I lifted my hands to cover my ears and noticed silver light glowing from them.
The monster lunged at me, its paws hitting me in the chest, causing me to fall flat on my butt. I wheezed, rubbing my chest as I sat up. I scanned my surroundings and quirked my eyebrow in surprise when I caught a glimpse of the monster whimpering in a corner and licking its paws.
I smirked as I regained my composure and stood up. The light shone brighter around me as my confidence grew.
The monster, looking smaller, limped towards me, trying to keep its frightening persona but I was no longer fooled. Remembering my mother’s final words, I closed my eyes and focused on their meaning, letting them wash over me and sink into my very being. I opened my eyes, focused all my energy on the yowling monster and pushed with all my might.
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One week later and I still struggled with my fears, still heard the growling, but I knew that all I had to do was fight, and it would stop. Writing, once my sanctuary had turned into a source of doubt and made me question everything, but I am now managing a paragraph a day and it’s not just a win; it’s my battle cry, the roaring defiance that keeps that lurking monster at bay, refusing to let it seize control.
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