Parent Troubles

This story is by Linda Rice and was part of our 2024 Spring Writing Contest. You can find all the writing contest stories here.

He was gone. Last night had been the breaking point. He just packed up his children and left.

They loved one another and enjoyed doing almost everything together, but the children were a complication. If one was not creating a disruption, another one was. Trying to put the two families together was a major project, one lasting almost a year so far. She and her two young boys were academic and structured, while he and his two teen-age sons and pre-teen daughter were athletic and freedom loving.

She scheduled their many activities and tried to maintain order in the home. While her children were used to her being in charge, his family was used to more freedom. Having been used to choosing their own activities and the times to do them, they didn’t want a new woman to come in and change things.

His daughter, Mandy, wanted to do what she wanted to do and when she wanted to do it. She had a habit of arriving home late from almost all her pursuits. This caused Brenda to worry about her at first, but when it became apparent it was a habit, she became annoyed and complained, which didn’t seem to affect Mandy at all.

So when Mandy arrived late for dinner for the third time that week, Brenda complained more sharply this time. “Mandy, I’m tired of you not making it home for dinner. I think you should just skip eating this evening.”

David, who had endured a stressful day already, had had enough. He did not see the lateness as being a problem and didn’t like Brenda’s punishment. They seemed to disagree over the children all the time.

“That’s enough! Children, gather some clothes and get in the car. We’re leaving.”

It did not take long before they were gone.

 

Now she had to pull herself together and start again to build a life for herself and her two boys, but it wasn’t what she wanted. He was such a good man, a good husband, and a good father. Why couldn’t they find a way to live and love together in a way to make them all happy?

She had given up her job when they had been married a few months, realizing how much work it was to take care of the house and all the children, and now she had to look for another job, as well as another place to live where she could afford the rent. She was back to struggling to make ends meet again.

 

David called to tell her he would be by to pick up his possessions the next weekend, so she went through the house, separating everything, and packing their things into boxes, trying to be as fair as possible. He and the children arrived Saturday to pick them up. It upset her when his oldest son, Thomas, opened the closet in the master bedroom to make sure nothing of theirs was left.

Their leaving left too much space.

 

Now they were on their own, though it wasn’t what she wanted. Her husband holding her and being happy was what she wanted.

First things first. Look for a job. She searched the want ads for something close by so the children could stay in their same school, and she found a few to investigate. There were no immediate job openings for a secretary, which she had been before their marriage, but, luckily, there was an ad for a customer service representative at a company on Main Street. Having worked in customer service long ago, she applied for it. They hired her the next day to begin working at the first of the month.

Next, she had to find an apartment she could afford to rent, which was much harder. She was temporarily staying in the house, for which David had paid the rent, but she needed to find something else.

David and his children rented an apartment nearby and seemed happy with it. She thought their apartment was nice, but she really didn’t want them to be separated. She missed him so.

 

While she was trying to reorganize their lives, she attended a Parent Effectiveness Training meeting at the local psychology department for which she had enrolled before David left. The book, Your Child’s Self Esteem, was the basis for the system. She learned about using “I” messages–telling the child what you feel and believe–instead of starting the sentence with “You”–which often comes out as an accusation. It gave her encouragement for how to relate to the children in the future.

 

Finding an apartment was difficult, and since she really didn’t want to face life without David, she finally decided to ask him if he would come back.

She arrived at his work site at the end of the work day and waited by his car for him to come out. When he did, she stepped away from the car and said, “David, I want to talk with you.”

He looked wary, and not welcoming. “I’m listening,” he said.

“I love and miss you. I don’t want us to be apart. I want you to come back.”

He stood there silently for long moments, seeming to struggle with what to say. “I can’t do that, Brenda. I want my children to be happy.”

She reached out to him, almost touching, but not quite. “I have been taking lessons, learning how to be a better parent. I want to try to do better. Please give us a chance.”

Again, he straightened his shoulders and clenched his fist, trying to form an answer. She could tell he wanted her as much as she wanted him, but he didn’t want to go bring his children back to face more problems. Finally, he said, “I have to think about it and talk to the children. I can’t make the decision right now.”

He turned, opened the door to his car, and said over his shoulder, “I’ll call you when I decide what to do.”

It wasn’t an outright refusal. There was hope. “Just remember, I love you, and I want to be your wife. I will try very hard to be a better stepmother.”

He nodded his head, then entered his car and drove away.

 

He did not call that night, nor the next day, not until the next evening. “I have decided to come back, but I want you to know I am giving up my sons for you. Mandy will be coming back with me, but the boys will go to live with their mother.

She knew it hurt him to not have his sons live with him, but she needed him, and she knew they would be safe with their mother and she would be happy to have them. “I love you, David, and I will do my best to take care of Mandy. I’m so sorry about the boys staying with their mother. Will they visit us on weekends as they have been doing with her?”

“I don’t know yet. That will have to worked out.”

“I want to make you all happy in any way I can…. I am so glad you are coming back!”

 

The boys did come to stay on weekends, and the family went to attend their athletic events and cheer for them. Not perfect, but better than nothing.

 

Everyone was careful to try not to upset the apple cart, as the saying goes, but, inevitably, after the first week, Mandy came home from a friend’s home late for dinner. This time, Brenda said, “I always worry that something has happened to you when you don’t appear on time, and, then, when you do appear, I feel like you think it is not important enough for you to let us know you will be late. Is there any way you could make it home on time or at least let us know you will be late?

“I am sorry, Brenda. I will try to do better next time.”

“Thank you, Mandy. That will be so much better for us all.”

 

The next day, Mandy arrived home with a bleeding cut on the back of her elbow, and Brenda took her into the bathroom to doctor it. After cleaning it, she applied antiseptic and covered it with a bandage. Then she put her arm around Mandy’s shoulders and gave her a one-armed hug, the first time she had touched her for some time. It was remarkable how natural and pleasant it felt. They both were happier because of it.

 

 

Later that night, when David and Brenda were preparing for bed, he pulled her to him and hugged her tightly.  “Mandy told me she is glad we came back. She says you have changed and are much nicer now. You have made me so happy, Brenda. I miss having the boys live with us, but our life is good. Thank you for coming after me.”