This story is by Cathy Smades and was part of our 2017 Fall Writing Contest. You can find all the writing contest stories here.
The orange crepe pumpkins and black cats decorated the lobby wall adding a macabre and bizarre feeling to the unsettling atmosphere. The institutional lights hummed and cast flickering shadows in the gloomy interior as Sarah entered through the sliding glass front door. Striding past the front desk she did not sign in today because of her special pass. She stepped into the small elevator and stabbed the second floor button with her finger. She inhaled raggedly and attempted to will her face into a flat expression.
The door opened and she exhaled loudly while internal claws clenched her stomach. She stepped slowly into the brilliant lights of the hallway. She walked quickly averting her eyes from the other rooms where the whispery air sounds emitted. She purposed towards the room at the end slightly nodding at the workers sitting at the reception desk. They recognized her but dropped their eyes as she walked through the colorless doorway.
There he was as he always was, lying in the small bed. The safety rails were down in the oddly quiet room. The tubes hanging from a pole at his side dwindled down to where they were usually attached. There he was; her hero and the love of her life now unable to sit up in bed. Catching her breath she brushed her hand over his smooth forehead. Always she had wondered how she would find him. Would he be awake or asleep, alive or dead? Nervously she would approach his bed holding her breath until she knew for certain.
Today he looked asleep as she sat down at the eternal chair sitting near the side of the bed. She touched his left hand and squeezed it to let him know she was there. Many times this woke him and he would smile seeing her there.
A few minutes later the nurse Sally crept in and said, “He’s ready for you to see him.”
“He just looks asleep to me.”
“Yes, he does.”
“I’m going to wait here with him for awhile.”
“Of course, take your time.” Karen looked intently at her and left the room.
She looked closer at Paul and realized he had been prepared to speak and his talk box had been installed. She wondered to herself why she hadn’t noticed that when she came into the room. It took a long time to install the apparatus and usually he coughed continually with it in. Because of that she hated to ask him to use it.
There were so many things she did not notice in the last year although occasionally she would be gripped by a random detail that distracted her for hours. He was the one with the brain injury but somehow her thoughts were scrambled too. Should she wake him or wait for him to come around was something she worried about obsessively. Should she push him to help him recover or did he need time to heal? This was the continuous question she debated. Everyone, including strangers had an opinion and she had ceased asking and listening to them long ago.
Coughing slightly he started to speak although his eyes were shut. She smiled warmly at him and pulled the chair closer to the bed.
“Hi you, you’re here.”
“Yes, I’ve been waiting for my scrubby hubby to wake up.”
“I was ready but guess I couldn’t wait and fell asleep. Sorry you had to wait.”
“I wish you would stop apologizing for everything. I will wait until you came back just as I will always wait for you.”
“I am glad you brought that up. That is what I want to talk to you about, all of this waiting on me.”
“I don’t mind, you know I am a very patient person.”
“Yes, you have the patience of Job- more patient than any woman I have ever known and that worries me.”
“I think that’s a good thing,” Sarah said confidently.
“Usually it would be but I see it differently now.”
Sarah began twisting her ring around her finger. She struggled to respond in the relaxed way she had been instructed by the doctor. “ I feel tense,” she whispered.
“You feel anxious? That is all I feel day after day lying in this bed. I can’t move my body and not one part of me will obey my thoughts. Every part of me wants to hold you and kiss you but I can’t move a finger. Remember how you loved me to tickle the back of your neck? It would take three assistants holding me to do that now. I lie here thinking about everything I used to feel and now most of that is gone. Gone and it isn’t coming back.”
“You don’t know that for sure I have been talking to other doctors and-”
“It’s time for you to stop asking, and stop waiting for me. Waiting for me to wake up. Waiting for me to talk. Waiting for me to walk when I can’t barely swallow. I can’t eat until that happens and you know I can’t do it!”
“I’m sorry babe, I am so sorry.” Sarah crossed her legs and then uncrossed them.
“Now you’re apologizing.”
“Sorry, oh sorry. I didn’t mean to-”
I can’t tell you how many times I dreamed about cake, pie and tacos and your fried chicken. Everyday they leak dinner from a bag into my stomach and that’s it.”
Sarah flushed and she began to cry silently. “Oh Paul, I am so-”
“Please, don’t say it again! Yes, but I need you to hear me. I mean hear my heart. Hear the message. I don’t want you to wait for me after today.”
“It doesn’t matter if you don’t want me to! I’m going to wait for you to get well and come back home.”
“Listen, I talked it over with the Boss and I’m not going to stay.”
“Please don’t! I miss you. I will be all alone and you know she is gone.” A single tear slid down her cheek.
“I’ve been thinking about Merry and how beautiful and kind she was to us. She was so much like you. I can see her and she will see me.”
Her face shaded red. “I didn’t think you cared about how badly I hurt, and now you want to leave and see her?”
“You know I cared; I couldn’t bear to talk about it. After they put her in that pink box. Horrible thoughts I could not say.”
I didn’t know what to think because you didn’t say anything! One night I saw you crying by the side of her empty bed. You were sobbing into her pillow holding her favorite yellow jacket. Then I knew you were sad too, like I was. I should have come over to you. But it seemed like a sacred moment between you and her.”
“I noticed when you started looking at me again. We started enjoying some things together like we had before. You called me a spicy pumpkin on my birthday and magically you were back to me.”
“You will always be my spicy pumpkin,” Sarah said with a wistful look. “Although I think it’s a terrible compliment.”
“It always made me laugh! Now I want to wait for you. I will wait for you to come be with Merry, me and someday you. You will be there and we will be there together; forever. Not here where everyday you watch me from that sad chair. After you have lived out your days and are full from the living you will come to us and find us full of loving. We will not be a bit weary from waiting on you. I don’t want you waiting for me to move, pushing me around in a chair, waiting for a way out of waiting on me. I can’t live anymore watching you wait for me.”
Sarah sat there glaring at him and biting the edge of her bottom lip. Sighing loudly she continued to sit when Karen walked quietly into the room and softly touched her arm.
“Sarah, they are here to take him now, are you ready to let them come in?”
She shuddered and looked through the doorway where several men now stood with a gurney.
“Yes, they can take him now. More time won’t help me, he’s not coming back. I never could get enough of him. Even now I want more.”
“I’m so sorry he passed away before you got here. I know he had something he wanted to say. He kept saying marry me, over and over. It must have been about your wedding day.”
“No-he told me exactly who he was talking about.” Sarah’s eyes suddenly jerked away.
Karen’s eyebrows popped up to her response. Certainly she didn’t think Paul was talking, he had died an hour before his wife’s arrival. “Sarah, are you sure you’re all right?”
Sarah quickly walked away. No longer waiting for a reply.
The orange crepe pumpkins and black cats decorated the lobby wall adding a macabre and bizarre feeling to the unsettling atmosphere. The institutional lights hummed and cast flickering shadows in the gloomy interior as Sarah entered through the sliding glass front door. Striding past the front desk she did not sign in today because of her special pass. She stepped into the small elevator and stabbed the second floor button with her finger. She inhaled raggedly and attempted to will her face into a flat expression.
The door opened and she exhaled loudly while internal claws clenched her stomach. She stepped slowly into the brilliant lights of the hallway. She walked quickly averting her eyes from the other rooms where the whispery air sounds emitted. She purposed towards the room at the end slightly nodding at the workers sitting at the reception desk. They recognized her but dropped their eyes as she walked through the colorless doorway.
There he was as he always was, lying in the small bed. The safety rails were down in the oddly quiet room. The tubes hanging from a pole at his side dwindled down to where they were usually attached. There he was; her hero and the love of her life now unable to sit up in bed. Catching her breath she brushed her hand over his smooth forehead. Always she had wondered how she would find him. Would he be awake or asleep, alive or dead? Nervously she would approach his bed holding her breath until she knew for certain.
Today he looked asleep as she sat down at the eternal chair sitting near the side of the bed. She touched his left hand and squeezed it to let him know she was there. Many times this woke him and he would smile seeing her there.
A few minutes later the nurse Sally crept in and said, “He’s ready for you to see him.”
“He just looks asleep to me.”
“Yes, he does.”
“I’m going to wait here with him for awhile.”
“Of course, take your time.” Karen looked intently at her and left the room.
She looked closer at Paul and realized he had been prepared to speak and his talk box had been installed. She wondered to herself why she hadn’t noticed that when she came into the room. It took a long time to install the apparatus and usually he coughed continually with it in. Because of that she hated to ask him to use it.
There were so many things she did not notice in the last year although occasionally she would be gripped by a random detail that distracted her for hours. He was the one with the brain injury but somehow her thoughts were scrambled too. Should she wake him or wait for him to come around was something she worried about obsessively. Should she push him to help him recover or did he need time to heal? This was the continuous question she debated. Everyone, including strangers had an opinion and she had ceased asking and listening to them long ago.
Coughing slightly he started to speak although his eyes were shut. She smiled warmly at him and pulled the chair closer to the bed.
“Hi you, you’re here.”
“Yes, I’ve been waiting for my scrubby hubby to wake up.”
“I was ready but guess I couldn’t wait and fell asleep. Sorry you had to wait.”
“I wish you would stop apologizing for everything. I will wait until you came back just as I will always wait for you.”
“I am glad you brought that up. That is what I want to talk to you about, all of this waiting on me.”
“I don’t mind, you know I am a very patient person.”
“Yes, you have the patience of Job- more patient than any woman I have ever known and that worries me.”
“I think that’s a good thing,” Sarah said confidently.
“Usually it would be but I see it differently now.”
Sarah began twisting her ring around her finger. She struggled to respond in the relaxed way she had been instructed by the doctor. “ I feel tense,” she whispered.
“You feel anxious? That is all I feel day after day lying in this bed. I can’t move my body and not one part of me will obey my thoughts. Every part of me wants to hold you and kiss you but I can’t move a finger. Remember how you loved me to tickle the back of your neck? It would take three assistants holding me to do that now. I lie here thinking about everything I used to feel and now most of that is gone. Gone and it isn’t coming back.”
“You don’t know that for sure I have been talking to other doctors and-”
“It’s time for you to stop asking, and stop waiting for me. Waiting for me to wake up. Waiting for me to talk. Waiting for me to walk when I can’t barely swallow. I can’t eat until that happens and you know I can’t do it!”
“I’m sorry babe, I am so sorry.” Sarah crossed her legs and then uncrossed them.
“Now you’re apologizing.”
“Sorry, oh sorry. I didn’t mean to-”
I can’t tell you how many times I dreamed about cake, pie and tacos and your fried chicken. Everyday they leak dinner from a bag into my stomach and that’s it.”
Sarah flushed and she began to cry silently. “Oh Paul, I am so-”
“Please, don’t say it again! Yes, but I need you to hear me. I mean hear my heart. Hear the message. I don’t want you to wait for me after today.”
“It doesn’t matter if you don’t want me to! I’m going to wait for you to get well and come back home.”
“Listen, I talked it over with the Boss and I’m not going to stay.”
“Please don’t! I miss you. I will be all alone and you know she is gone.” A single tear slid down her cheek.
“I’ve been thinking about Merry and how beautiful and kind she was to us. She was so much like you. I can see her and she will see me.”
Her face shaded red. “I didn’t think you cared about how badly I hurt, and now you want to leave and see her?”
“You know I cared; I couldn’t bear to talk about it. After they put her in that pink box. Horrible thoughts I could not say.”
I didn’t know what to think because you didn’t say anything! One night I saw you crying by the side of her empty bed. You were sobbing into her pillow holding her favorite yellow jacket. Then I knew you were sad too, like I was. I should have come over to you. But it seemed like a sacred moment between you and her.”
“I noticed when you started looking at me again. We started enjoying some things together like we had before. You called me a spicy pumpkin on my birthday and magically you were back to me.”
“You will always be my spicy pumpkin,” Sarah said with a wistful look. “Although I think it’s a terrible compliment.”
“It always made me laugh! Now I want to wait for you. I will wait for you to come be with Merry, me and someday you. You will be there and we will be there together; forever. Not here where everyday you watch me from that sad chair. After you have lived out your days and are full from the living you will come to us and find us full of loving. We will not be a bit weary from waiting on you. I don’t want you waiting for me to move, pushing me around in a chair, waiting for a way out of waiting on me. I can’t live anymore watching you wait for me.”
Sarah sat there glaring at him and biting the edge of her bottom lip. Sighing loudly she continued to sit when Karen walked quietly into the room and softly touched her arm.
“Sarah, they are here to take him now, are you ready to let them come in?”
She shuddered and looked through the doorway where several men now stood with a gurney.
“Yes, they can take him now. More time won’t help me, he’s not coming back. I never could get enough of him. Even now I want more.”
“I’m so sorry he passed away before you got here. I know he had something he wanted to say. He kept saying marry me, over and over. It must have been about your wedding day.”
“No-he told me exactly who he was talking about.” Sarah’s eyes suddenly jerked away.
Karen’s eyebrows popped up to her response. Certainly she didn’t think Paul was talking, he had died an hour before his wife’s arrival. “Sarah, are you sure you’re all right?”
Sarah quickly walked away. No longer waiting for a reply.
The orange crepe pumpkins and black cats decorated the lobby wall adding a macabre and bizarre feeling to the unsettling atmosphere. The institutional lights hummed and cast flickering shadows in the gloomy interior as Sarah entered through the sliding glass front door. Striding past the front desk she did not sign in today because of her special pass. She stepped into the small elevator and stabbed the second floor button with her finger. She inhaled raggedly and attempted to will her face into a flat expression.
The door opened and she exhaled loudly while internal claws clenched her stomach. She stepped slowly into the brilliant lights of the hallway. She walked quickly averting her eyes from the other rooms where the whispery air sounds emitted. She purposed towards the room at the end slightly nodding at the workers sitting at the reception desk. They recognized her but dropped their eyes as she walked through the colorless doorway.
There he was as he always was, lying in the small bed. The safety rails were down in the oddly quiet room. The tubes hanging from a pole at his side dwindled down to where they were usually attached. There he was; her hero and the love of her life now unable to sit up in bed. Catching her breath she brushed her hand over his smooth forehead. Always she had wondered how she would find him. Would he be awake or asleep, alive or dead? Nervously she would approach his bed holding her breath until she knew for certain.
Today he looked asleep as she sat down at the eternal chair sitting near the side of the bed. She touched his left hand and squeezed it to let him know she was there. Many times this woke him and he would smile seeing her there.
A few minutes later the nurse Sally crept in and said, “He’s ready for you to see him.”
“He just looks asleep to me.”
“Yes, he does.”
“I’m going to wait here with him for awhile.”
“Of course, take your time.” Karen looked intently at her and left the room.
She looked closer at Paul and realized he had been prepared to speak and his talk box had been installed. She wondered to herself why she hadn’t noticed that when she came into the room. It took a long time to install the apparatus and usually he coughed continually with it in. Because of that she hated to ask him to use it.
There were so many things she did not notice in the last year although occasionally she would be gripped by a random detail that distracted her for hours. He was the one with the brain injury but somehow her thoughts were scrambled too. Should she wake him or wait for him to come around was something she worried about obsessively. Should she push him to help him recover or did he need time to heal? This was the continuous question she debated. Everyone, including strangers had an opinion and she had ceased asking and listening to them long ago.
Coughing slightly he started to speak although his eyes were shut. She smiled warmly at him and pulled the chair closer to the bed.
“Hi you, you’re here.”
“Yes, I’ve been waiting for my scrubby hubby to wake up.”
“I was ready but guess I couldn’t wait and fell asleep. Sorry you had to wait.”
“I wish you would stop apologizing for everything. I will wait until you came back just as I will always wait for you.”
“I am glad you brought that up. That is what I want to talk to you about, all of this waiting on me.”
“I don’t mind, you know I am a very patient person.”
“Yes, you have the patience of Job- more patient than any woman I have ever known and that worries me.”
“I think that’s a good thing,” Sarah said confidently.
“Usually it would be but I see it differently now.”
Sarah began twisting her ring around her finger. She struggled to respond in the relaxed way she had been instructed by the doctor. “ I feel tense,” she whispered.
“You feel anxious? That is all I feel day after day lying in this bed. I can’t move my body and not one part of me will obey my thoughts. Every part of me wants to hold you and kiss you but I can’t move a finger. Remember how you loved me to tickle the back of your neck? It would take three assistants holding me to do that now. I lie here thinking about everything I used to feel and now most of that is gone. Gone and it isn’t coming back.”
“You don’t know that for sure I have been talking to other doctors and-”
“It’s time for you to stop asking, and stop waiting for me. Waiting for me to wake up. Waiting for me to talk. Waiting for me to walk when I can’t barely swallow. I can’t eat until that happens and you know I can’t do it!”
“I’m sorry babe, I am so sorry.” Sarah crossed her legs and then uncrossed them.
“Now you’re apologizing.”
“Sorry, oh sorry. I didn’t mean to-”
I can’t tell you how many times I dreamed about cake, pie and tacos and your fried chicken. Everyday they leak dinner from a bag into my stomach and that’s it.”
Sarah flushed and she began to cry silently. “Oh Paul, I am so-”
“Please, don’t say it again! Yes, but I need you to hear me. I mean hear my heart. Hear the message. I don’t want you to wait for me after today.”
“It doesn’t matter if you don’t want me to! I’m going to wait for you to get well and come back home.”
“Listen, I talked it over with the Boss and I’m not going to stay.”
“Please don’t! I miss you. I will be all alone and you know she is gone.” A single tear slid down her cheek.
“I’ve been thinking about Merry and how beautiful and kind she was to us. She was so much like you. I can see her and she will see me.”
Her face shaded red. “I didn’t think you cared about how badly I hurt, and now you want to leave and see her?”
“You know I cared; I couldn’t bear to talk about it. After they put her in that pink box. Horrible thoughts I could not say.”
I didn’t know what to think because you didn’t say anything! One night I saw you crying by the side of her empty bed. You were sobbing into her pillow holding her favorite yellow jacket. Then I knew you were sad too, like I was. I should have come over to you. But it seemed like a sacred moment between you and her.”
“I noticed when you started looking at me again. We started enjoying some things together like we had before. You called me a spicy pumpkin on my birthday and magically you were back to me.”
“You will always be my spicy pumpkin,” Sarah said with a wistful look. “Although I think it’s a terrible compliment.”
“It always made me laugh! Now I want to wait for you. I will wait for you to come be with Merry, me and someday you. You will be there and we will be there together; forever. Not here where everyday you watch me from that sad chair. After you have lived out your days and are full from the living you will come to us and find us full of loving. We will not be a bit weary from waiting on you. I don’t want you waiting for me to move, pushing me around in a chair, waiting for a way out of waiting on me. I can’t live anymore watching you wait for me.”
Sarah sat there glaring at him and biting the edge of her bottom lip. Sighing loudly she continued to sit when Karen walked quietly into the room and softly touched her arm.
“Sarah, they are here to take him now, are you ready to let them come in?”
She shuddered and looked through the doorway where several men now stood with a gurney.
“Yes, they can take him now. More time won’t help me, he’s not coming back. I never could get enough of him. Even now I want more.”
“I’m so sorry he passed away before you got here. I know he had something he wanted to say. He kept saying marry me, over and over. It must have been about your wedding day.”
“No-he told me exactly who he was talking about.” Sarah’s eyes suddenly jerked away.
Karen’s eyebrows popped up to her response. Certainly she didn’t think Paul was talking, he had died an hour before his wife’s arrival. “Sarah, are you sure you’re all right?”
Sarah quickly walked away. No longer waiting for a reply.
Leave a Reply