Take Two

This story is by Olivia Lazore and was part of our 2024 Fall Writing Contest. You can find all the writing contest stories here.

 

I scrolled through pictures of my friends and all the fun memories we made together. I miss them. Ever since the popular girls accepted me into their friend group things haven’t been the same. But I’m okay with that because they weren’t my people. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. 

My mom called down the hall saying it’s time to go to school. I grabbed my bag and looked at the desk where my jewelry sits hanging from a black clothed ballerina with outstretched arms. I see the puzzle-piece necklace that used to never leave my neck…until they left. Correction: I left. I looked away and checked myself in the mirror. My cross necklace is crooked, so I fixed it. The hair is spot on; high, tight ponytail. That’s how the popular girls wear their hair, so that’s how I wear my hair. The only problem is that my hair is brown, not blonde. But they said they would make an exception to it. The outfit we wear is a short, red and black, flowy, tartan plaid skirt, tight white shirt, and a leather jacket. It’s not always the warmest outfit because it’s currently fall but there’s not much of a choice when it comes to the popular girls.  

The skirt is required of everyone—except for the boys, they wear black pants—but you can pick the length and type of plaid. It doesn’t make sense.  

The popular girls always wear heels, but I can’t walk in them, so I just wear a pair of shiny, black flats. Everything looks fine…except for the makeup that I forgot to put on.  

I dig through my makeup drawer and grab everything I need. I’m just going to do it at school. Seventh grade is a death trap. I hear my mom’s footsteps and dramatic sigh as she pokes her head into my room to see what I’m doing. “Kristina, what is taking you so long?” 

“Sorry, I’m ready now.” I walked past her and headed to the car. 

 

I got out of the car and walked out to meet the popular girls at the flower bushes next to the entrance after we got to school. 

“Heyyyy girl!” Aubreigh said to me as I walked over to meet them. I smiled when I reached them, and I expected Aubreigh to do the same, but she recoiled in disgust. “Um, why does your face look like that?” Her voice changes to a judgmental tone as she gestures to my face. 

“I didn’t have enough time to do my makeup this morning, so I was just going to do it in the school bathroom.”  

I’m not good enough. The thought is quick but powerful. My self-confidence—what’s left of it—goes down a steep incline and doesn’t look like it’ll make it back up very soon. I began to fidget with my skirt as I wrapped the material around my finger. 

Aubreigh responded with a pitied look and said, “Oh honey, why don’t I do it?” There is no room for argument, so I nodded in approval, and she began. 

 

 

She’s done with my makeup before I would usually finish my eye makeup. I have a lot to learn. Ring! The bell goes off to tell us that it’s time for school. I walk through the front doors as I head to my first class of the day which is science, I see my friends Brody, Elizabeth, Ruby, and Tyson. Well, they used to be my friends. They all threw a friendly smile and a wave in my direction. Nothing else to do but return it. So, I do.  

The day goes by in a flash and next thing I know I’m back at my house and dinner is almost ready. We’re having baked salmon with a grapefruit salad and a squeeze of lemon. My mom has a special recipe for it that has been in the family for too many years to remember. I took my makeup off while I waited for dinner. My phone starts to vibrate once I’m done where it lays on my desk. Aubreigh is facetiming me. Crap, crap, crap. I just took my makeup off, and I don’t want her to see me like this again; we’re always supposed to be wearing makeup.  

I’ve already taken too long to answer. I take a quick breath then hit accept. 

“Heyyyy girl!” Aubreigh says with enthusiasm. 

“Hey.” I mean for it to be as enthusiastic as her, but it came out flat. 

“What’s wrong? Us girly pops don’t ever act sad.” 

“Nothing,” I say truthfully. “My voice was just being weird.” She starts to study my face a little closer. 

“Where did your makeup go?” I can’t help but hear the boredom and judgement seep into her words. 

“I took it off for my shower.” Hopefully, she doesn’t see through my lie. 

“Oh, ok,” boredom laced through her words. “See you tomorrow! Love ya! Mwuah!” she blew a kiss at me, and I returned it before hanging up. I released the breath that I was holding. Man, being friends with her is very exhausting, but I must act like I belong here otherwise I won’t be here. 

After dinner, I went to take a shower. That means that what I told Aubreigh isn’t a lie. 

I turned the water on and jumped in to feel the hot, steamy water crawl on my back. It feels so good. The steam enveloped me and felt like a warm cocoon. The shower is my only safe place; no one here to tell me my makeup is off, my outfit isn’t cute enough, or that I’m not enough. It’s a place where I confess silently all the things that plague me. Including all the things about my friends. Both the ones I left behind and the ones I’m stuck with.  

After being in the shower for about thirty minutes, I wrapped my towel around me and headed down to my room. I shut the door behind me and got my pajamas out and put them on. They are just your typical black-and-white, fuzzy, plaid pajama pants with an oversized t-shirt of a Michaelangelo—not the ninja turtle—painting. 

I go over to the ballerina where the puzzle-piece necklace hangs and grab it. I clench it tight in my hands and get down on my knees on the edge of my bed after I turn the lights off except for the lamp that’s on my bedside table. 

I put my hands together and close my eyes before saying: “God, I’m struggling right now. I don’t know what to think about who I’m hanging out with. I think what I really want is to go back to my old friends; Brody, Ruby, Tyson, and Elizabeth.” The relief after I say it aloud and acknowledge is a weight off my chest and I feel like a feather. “Help me make the right choice and not the wrong one. Do what you think is the right decision not what I think is right. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.” 

I don’t just feel like a feather, I feel like I can do anything. It feels amazing. I usually get this feeling after praying but the feeling is most noticeable when I pray aloud. “Thank you, Lord.” I climbed into bed after and shut off the lamp. 

 

I’m tired of this. I can’t keep ignoring my old friends even if that means that I no longer hang with the popular girls. Today, I didn’t put on any makeup and my hair is in a messy bun. I put the skirt that I used to wear before the old friend group split up on and it’s identical to the last one but isn’t as short. Instead of a mini skirt that barely scrapes by as actual clothing, I can put my arms down by my sides and it reaches just above my fingertips. The top that I have on is an oversized, knitted, gray sweater. And to top it all off are the black combat boots. I feel like me now. 

When I got to school, instead of meeting the popular girls at the usual spot, I waited for my old friends at the bike racks. I really hope they take me back and give me a second chance. What if they walk past me? If they don’t take me back… I can’t finish that thought. 

What if they walk past me? I don’t have time to go down that rabbit hole because I saw them sprint towards me with grins. I missed how they hugged me. Ring! 

 “I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you guys,” I say as tears start falling. They all reeled back, and Elizabeth gave me a bored look before she said, “We were waiting for you to come back. We even had bets. Look,” she pulls out a piece of paper and explains the bet to me while we walk into school.