This story is by Sophie Chappelear and was part of our 2024 Fall Writing Contest. You can find all the writing contest stories here.
Minimalistic thoughts…
Simple minded…
Worsening prognosis…
Life support…
Completely devoid of any higher thought processes…
His body just gave up…
They had to pull the plug.
The words spun unfettered through her mind. It wasn’t just some game anymore; her partner was never going to be the same. Her captain came around his desk. Situations like theses were never easy, and with all the sexual harrassment suits swirling around, he didn’t know how to give physical comfort that wouldn’t be taken as an advance. Not that she was one of those kinds of officers. He lightly placed his hand on her shoulder just long enough to register that it was there, and then it was gone.
“Situations like these, they’re not…well, easy to comprehend. And they certainly are not easy to adjust to. I can’t say that I’ve known anyone in my career that this has happened to. And, quite frankly, I don’t want to ever have to do this again. It sucks, kid. Words cannot describe how much it sucks.”
He wasn’t wrong. Sitting on shift one minute, cup of coffee in hand, and the next minute you’re calling for medical assistance. Aneurysm. Who would have thought such a decorated officer would have been taken out of the line of duty by a faulty artery? It certainly never crossed her mind. How his doctor’s had missed it all these years: it was beyond her, his spouse, and most certainly beyond his doctor.
The warmth of the room was stifling. The arctic blast had sent the heating bill through the roof over the course of the last month, and it didn’t show signs of easing up any time soon. The sweat started to bead at her temples, but her mouth was dry. She was desperate to get out of there, get a quick minute out in the frigid December air. There was nothing that could be said or done at that moment. She wanted back to her reports or to be sent home; maybe in that order.
Alice wasn’t the type to sit on her laurels when she had things she needed to accomplish: things that had been started and needed to be finished. It gnawed away at the back of her mind, eating its way forward until it was all consuming. She needed to throw her mind into control, into a routine, to feel relief. She needed distraction until the full weight of the situation filtered down in manageable pieces for it to process. A process for process, and then that would be progress. He’d been the only person she’d been partnered with since she was assigned to this precinct. It would be an adjustment for certain.
Her captain was trying his best to be supportive to her expected needs. He was trying to give her comfort, a proverbial shoulder to cry on if she needed it. She didn’t, but Alice did appreciate the gesture. Not many of the other department leaders were as humanitarian in their compassion. They weren’t compassionate, and human resources would be the first ones to tell you so. Too many complaints lodged against them for there to be an ounce of compassion between them. Except for her captain. He was a good guy. He was making an honest effort.
“I’m fine, Captain. I just need to finish up a few things, and then I’ll head home,” Alice said. It was what they both needed, him to hear and her to do. “It isn’t a lot, just a report or two left.”
“Alright, if you’re up to it.” He didn’t sound too convinced.
“Thank you, Sir.” That was all she needed. She left his office and went straight to her desk. She wasn’t looking at those around her, but she could feel their stares and side eyed glances. It’s not like she was the one that keeled over the steering wheel of his cruiser. She thanked God that they were parked. There would have been at least two funerals if that were the case. But the staring was half expected. More wishful thinking on her part that she would have survived this day without them. Not like anything ever really went her way. When the heavens are rent asunder, the aftermath is alway devastating its wake.
Her partner’s wake would be the following Thursday. She really didn’t want to go. More sets of eyes to follow her around the room, but it was expected of her. And Jules would need her to be there. And she needed him. The spouse always needs the partner. Unless there is bad blood. Or an affair. Neither of those were the case, and let’s face it: Alice needed Jules.
She set her attention the monitor on her desk, hands poised over the keyboard. Juvenile delinquent caught revoking his probation with a small case of sticky fingers. That one took her no more than 30 minutes to compose and format. The next one was a little more complicated.
Their last call together: a young male was found wandering the local park: mid-twenties, average build, excellent health, even better hair, no identification, no cell phone, and certainly no clothes. He didn’t know who he was or how he got there, and it was given that he couldn’t tell them why he was naked. He showed no outward signs of trauma-contusions, abrasions, or the like-and his mental facilities were function very well despite the lack of memory. He seemed to be in perfect health. More would be found out when he reached the hospital for an examination. Alice would need to follow-up with Sinai Memorial before she could finish her report. She hit save and closed up shop. It was time for her to go home.
She could feel their eyes following her out of the squad room, and down the hall. She stopped feeling them as she entered the elevator. Alice looked up, and for a brief moment she locked eyes with her captain. Quick nod in her direction, and the first tear fell as the lift started its descent to the lobby on the ground floor. She was finished by the time to doors slid open.
The brisk air stung her face and assaulted her lungs, freezing the tears and freeing her mind from whatever had been clouding her thoughts. She felt invigorated. Alice decided to take the long way home. No cab, no train, no subway: fourteen blocks south west with nothing but the crystalin air. It was the first time in two days that she was free from any thought, intrusive or self inflicted. She felt nothing, and she didn’t care. She was carefree. Carefree. The feeling was rejuvenating. By the time she made it to her building, she was starting to come back to her mind. Alice was planning on actually cooking at home instead of ordering out. She was making a list of things she need to do around her apartment, and she was getting excited about the prospect of hanging up the four baskets of laundry hanging out in the corner of her bedroom. She was going to accomplish something. For the first time in weeks, she felt like her old self. Not that her partner had been pulling her down.
Alice stopped halfway up the four flights of stairs. No, actually, she thought. He was pulling me down.
She pulled out her keys and continued up to her front door. It had never occurred to her how bad things had gotten between them. Not that anyone would have known other than Jules. He had it much worse than she did. He was the one married to Alec.
“Well, not anymore,” Alice mused out loud. They wouldn’t have to deal with the belittling, the aggressive posturing, and in her case, the physical discomfort of bruises that only she could see. Alec never put his hands on his husband. She caught that slack, as well. She didn’t blame Jules for it. It wasn’t his fault. Alec made those decisions. Maybe that silent aneurysm wasn’t just some freak medical malady. Maybe karma decided to take payment in one lump sum.
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