Transported

This story is by Sharmini Rogers and was part of our 2024 Fall Writing Contest. You can find all the writing contest stories here.

Transported

Sitting in the gazebo listening to the chimes with its Zen tempo.

I close my eyes, taking deep breaths and inhaling the essence of dew, grass and earth.Surely my life can be more than this self-doubt, loathing, and drudgery. In these beautiful surroundings I dream of my rebirth, transporting me to a world of unknowns.  

 

Opening my eyes, staring at the lake, I am mesmerized by the swirling water.  The water keeps churning as if something was trying to rise up. Transfixed, I watch a dark shadowy figure rise up and float towards me.  A voicesays run, run, run!!!!, but my heart gently whispers stay, stay, stay.

 

I stay and watch with fascination as the figure comes nearer.  The image appears lighter and as it comes nearer much sharper.  It looks human,dressed in a dark blue cloak. The human like figure pierces me with bright green eyes and I am rooted to my chair, I just stare.  The creature comes nearer and beckons me to come closer. I unconsciously get up from my chair and walk towards this creature.  The creature lowers its hood and I see a beautiful lady with shiny black hair. Her face is white like alabaster and smooth as silk. Her smile is wide and her shining teeth throws a glare.  Blinded by her smile I blink and then blink again. Opening my eyes, I see her still there and still smiling and beckoning. I cannot resist it any more, I walk up to the lady and stand right in front of her.  She takes my hand ever so gently and says “I am here what do you need of me?” I stare, blink, and stare again.  I then croak out, “I did not call you, what do you mean?” She smiled; your soul was pleading for me but it was not able to say why?”

 

“Then how the hell would I know,” I cried. “I can’t get my soul to talk to me, I have tried and tried.  Anyway, who are you?”

She nodded her head knowingly, “well I suppose you could say that I am your “Higher Self”, I am that connection to the Divine within your soul. That is why your soul called me, tohelp you understand. Can you hold my hand, close your eyes, and trust me?”

I thought to myself what do I have to lose.  I hold her hand, close my eyes and force myself to let go.

I am plunged into darkness.  I feel like I am falling.  I should be scared but I am not.  Suddenly I no longer feel that I am falling. I see steps leading into a cave.  The lady is still holding my hand leading me down. I reach the bottom of the stairs and see a little girl with her back turned to me, crouched down and sobbing.  I run to her and touch her shoulder.  She shrinks from me and then turns around.  Horror of horrors that child is me.  What the hell is going on?  She looks like when I was eight years old. I look at the lady and she smiles tenderly and says, “her unhappiness is preventing you to move on.  Can you take her in your arms and hear what she has to say?  Until you come to terms with her sorrow, you will always be seeking.” With some trepidation I approach the little me and say “Hi, I am sorry you are so sad, can I give you a hug?”  She stares at me and then nods.  I take her into my arms, she resists me just for a second and then leans into me. Shestarts sobbing softly and then really loudly.  Patting her awkwardly I say, “can you tell me why you are crying so hard, did someone hurt you?” She sniffs, “no one loves me.  My mother is always scolding me, she hates me, everyone makes fun of me.  No one thinks I am capable of doing anything.  I know my mother hates me. She is always comparing me with my cousins and wonders why I can’t be like them. She calls me a devil’s child not hers. I am just a failure.”  

 

I realize that is what I have always felt.  Even now as an adult, I still feel exactly what my young self is feeling.  I look pleadingly at the lady and said, “what do I do?”

She pats my hand and I feel the warmth slowlymoving up my hand until my heart was a glow,and a transmission so loud, as if someone was shouting words at me.

 

I hug my younger self tightly and tell her how sorry I am that she feels that way, and that I loveher very much.  I tell her that she should always remember that I love her and know that she would do great things. I also assure her she willhave a lot of friends, and that her mother really loves her, she just does not know how to show love. I explained that her mother was raised by a step mother who did not love her.  As I was rocking the little girl, she suddenly disappeared. All I can see around me is darkness, but I am not frightened. I feel this stillness, calmness, an anchoring.  My heart is expanding.  I feel overwhelmed with feelings of love and joy.  I open my eyes, there is no beautiful lady in front of me.  The lake looks calm and I can hear the chimes by the gazebo.  My world is the same, but my world is different.  Perhaps I have been given me a second chance.  Perhaps I can still do great things.