This story is by HD Freeman and was part of our 2024 Spring Writing Contest. You can find all the writing contest stories here.
I’ve loved him all my life. I guess it makes sense that I would also love him in my death.
I can’t remember how I died. I only remember waking up next to him as he cried at the gravesite. It took some time to focus and realize it was actually my gravesite that he was kneeling in front of. My dear sweet fiancé, my best friend, and high school sweetheart, as people would say. Jeffrey Ryan was a captain of the football team and I was the cheer captain. Jeffrey was perfect. His firm muscles and commanding presence in his uniform, along with his piercing gaze, made him stand out in the school. It was the same commanding presence that he continued into college. Everyone loved Jeffrey, but he was mine. All his love was for me and all of my loved belonged to him. Our love was pure. Why would someone separate him from me?
As I watched Jeffrey sobbing uncontrollably, I wanted so badly to hold him and tell him it would be okay. Tell him I didn’t mean the last words I remember saying to him. I want him to know I love him and always want to be with him.
“I can’t believe he has the nerves to be here crying at her grave.” I heard someone say.
Were they talking about Jeffrey? My eyes landed on the scratches and bruises on Jeffreys’ face. How did I miss those earlier? He had bruises on his hands and knuckles. He got those fighting off the person who attacked me, right? Where else would he have gotten those injuries? I needed to figure this out.
“I know, given what he did to her. It’s so disrespectful.” I heard another woman say.
What were they talking about? What who did?
“No,” I wanted to scream at them. “You don’t understand. Jeffrey would never hurt me. This wasn’t him.”
Sure, our relationship wasn’t perfect, but what relationship was?
It started with subtle suggestions about what to wear and comments about my makeup, which seemed sweet initially. He grew possessive, giving me threatening looks whenever I spoke to other guys, and constantly accusing me of cheating.
Despite my friends’ urging, I couldn’t imagine my life without this man I had fallen madly in love with. Instead, I brushed off his behavior as love, jealousy, and the results of my failure to truly show him how much I loved him. I blamed myself even though I could not figure out what I had done or how I could fix it. This must’ve led to the misleading picture of him that my friends saw.
“They had to pull him off of her. He attempted CPR, but it was too late to save her.” Someone else said, I think she was a classmate of mine.
Yes, she knows. She will set them straight. Jeffrey tried to save me.
“What happened next?” another girl asked.
I leaned in closer to hear more, but a force I can’t explain was pulling me away.
No, I need to know what happened. I looked around, but saw nothing pulling me. Where did Jeffrey go? Is he the reason I was being pulled away?
I walked around the campus hoping to reach out to someone, anyone, who could tell me what happened to me. I wish I could do more. I walked to the end of the hall back towards my dorm room and saw that police tape still roped it off.
Shouldn’t they have finished their investigation by now? Why is this police tape still here?
Walking through the door, I noticed crime scene photographs taped to the walls. I froze. I see the suffering I endured. The red bruises on my neck were a clear sign of strangulation. The rest of my face was not recognizable. Someone must have used something very heavy to beat me. Apart from the broken lamp on my nightstand, the room showed no signs of disturbance. How did the killer deform my face? I remembered the bruises on Jeffrey’s hands. Couldn’t be. Would he really do this to me? I tried to remember.
It started off as any other night. We were studying in my room, and I received a text from one of my classmates, Troy. We’ve been collaborating on a project with three other classmates. He’s been trying to schedule a meeting to discuss the project. That’s not how Jeffrey saw it. He thought Troy was trying to ask me out, and the cycle of accusations began again. This time I was tired. I was sick of defending myself and coming up with excuses for his behavior.
“I’ve had enough Jeff. This is getting ridiculous.” I yelled.
“Then maybe you should stop giving me a reason to question you.” Jeffrey spit back at me.
I’ve done nothing wrong. If you can’t see that, then maybe we should end this.”
“What did you just say?” Jeffrey approached me on the bed, rising from the chair in my room. “You better take that back.”
“Or what?” I replied, standing up for myself. I didn’t want him to feel like he had the upper hand. I wanted him to see me as an equal and hear me out. “We should take a break for a while.”
Those were the last words I spoke, the last actions I remember taking. I didn’t mean it. Leaving him, but I was just tired of the fighting.
What happened after that? Why can’t I remember?
I crumbled to the floor into a ball and cried. Someone grabbed my shoulder. Someone knew I was here. The thought of being seen gave me joy until a bright light appeared and a voice told me it was time. I turned around and spotted a fork in a dim road. A swirling white light appeared on the left, accompanied by a swirling orange light on the right. Between the two roads, atop a hill, stood a pole with two signs. One sign said rebirth, the other retribution.
“Where am I? How did I get here?”
“It’s time to choose,” the light whispered in my ear.
“Choose what?” I yelled into the void.
“Your path. Will you seek revenge for your death or move forward towards your ascension?”
“My ascension,” I asked, “what‘s that?”
“Your rebirth. Now, choose?”
I thought about my love for Jeffrey. I wanted to be by his side again. Does it matter what happened to me? I can just let go, be reborn, and find my way back to Jeffrey. Then my mind flashed to my dorm room, the pictures of my brutal death, the bruises on Jeffrey’s hands and the scratches on his face. He had worked so hard to save me, to keep me with him.
I have made my decision.
As I walked down my chosen path, I discovered the truth of my death.
I saw the argument and my last stand. I watched in horror as Jeffrey struck me with his fist. I crashed to the bed, trying to block his blows to my face, but he’s too strong. Blood pooled in my mouth as I choked. I saw as he placed his hands around my throat and squeezed. I clawed and scratched as much as I could before quickly losing consciousness. I saw him squeezing my throat so tight my eyes appeared to be bulging out of my face as he leaned forward, whispering obscenities and telling me I’ll never leave. I finally had the truth. Jeffrey had taken my life.
The vision changed and flashed to Jeffrey sitting at a bar, drinking. I recognized the suit he wore from the gravesite. He was still so handsome. A tear rolled down my face as I watched my love drowning his misery in alcohol. I watched as a group of men approached him and beat him to a pulp. While most people would feel satisfaction seeing their killer being punished, my soul ached. Even knowing the truth, I wanted to save Jeffrey. I continued watching as one man leaned over him and choked him to death. I cried at the sight of seeing my love taken away from me. The man I loved in life and love still in my death.
Although I hated seeking what Jeffrey went through at the end of his life, I knew it would be okay. I had made the right decision. I smiled, knowing I would soon reunite with my love. The smell of burning flesh filled the air as the flames of hell consumed me. Everyone may have loved him, but he’s all mine and we shall be together again in hell.
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