Eliza’s Choice

This story is by Ingrid Pearce and was part of our 2018 Spring Writing Contest. You can find all the writing contest stories here.

Eliza’s Choice

It was him.

Eliza froze in the doorway, the involuntary prickling of her skin left no doubt in her mind.

He had his back to her, dressed in blue scrubs, yet Eliza recognized his stance, slim build and dark hair curling halfway down his neck. The male nurse hovered over her daughter’s bed.

Earlier that morning, she and her husband, John had rushed Jennifer to the hospital for an emergency appendectomy. They had paced in the waiting room, sick with worry, until the doctor returned from surgery and reassured them that their seven year old daughter would good as new in no time.

Ever the doting father, John had gone to the gift shop to find a present for his little girl.

Eliza moved closer.

“Get away from my daughter!” She hissed.

He lingered before turning to face her.

She faltered, reaching for the foot of the bed. Revulsion mixed with the smell of disinfectant soap threatened her stomach.

“I wondered when I’d see you again,” said Wayne.

“What are you doing here? You can’t be a nurse!”

“Sure, I can. Oh, Ellie. Did you think I’d forget the night we had together?” He stroked the long, raised scar on his forehead.

“Don’t call me that.”

The memory played out like a nightmare in her mind.

“The funny thing is, little Jennie here looks just like me, don’t you think? Curly hair, cute little nose. Brown eyes? I figure she’s about the right age, too, since that magical night.”

“Shut up!” Eliza glanced at Jennifer, afraid she’d wake her.

“What’s going on?” John stopped in the open doorway, regarding the male nurse with interest, a cinnamon teddy bear in his hand.

Eliza’s eyes pleaded with Wayne and were only met with his conniving grin.

“I’ll be back to check on our little angel.” Wayne brushed by John and Eliza felt the taunt hit its mark.

“What was that all about?” John frowned.

Eliza stood motionless, suspended in time, on the edge of reality. Her recollection of the night returned unbidden and she was paralyzed with fear.

Multiple scenarios played out in her mind.

She reasoned that Wayne was confident she wouldn’t talk. Cool, arrogant bastard. If she revealed what he had done, she would also be admitting her own foolish act. It was a terrible mistake, one that gnawed at her tortured soul all these years. She would keep it buried. But, what if Wayne tried to get to Jennifer, kidnap her, harm her? Could she keep living the lie?

“Eliza. What magical night?”

Eliza turned to her sleeping child and revelation surged through her like a wave of silver light. Her little girl was all that mattered. She might lose her husband but it was a risk she had to take. She no longer wanted to keep it inside of her. The only way out was through.

Guilt-ridden and terrified for the anguish she was about to cause her husband, Eliza took John’s hand, guiding him to the far side of the room.

“John, there’s something I have to tell you.”

“It has to do with him, doesn’t it,” said John.

“Yes.”

No turning back now. Breathe.

“Remember years ago when we were having problems in our marriage? You worked late every night. When you came home, you were so distant. I begged you to tell me what was going on but you wouldn’t talk to me. You drank all the time. We were both so miserable.”

He stared at the floor. She hated herself for tearing open the old wound.

“I thought you were having an affair,” Eliza said.

“I wasn’t!”

“Yes, but I was so sure, at the time. I was angry. One night, when you were passed out on the couch, I went to a bar. I lost count of the martinis. A man was eyeing me and I flirted with him. When he propositioned me to go to his hotel room, I went.”

“How could you?” John seethed.

“Because I wanted to hurt you. You didn’t give me any other reason for the way you were acting. You didn’t trust me enough to confide in me and tell me that your business was failing! You were too proud, wanted to fix things yourself, didn’t want my help.”

“So, you went to a hotel room with that guy, the one who just walked out of this room? You had sex with him? What the hell were you thinking?” John paced back and forth, rubbing his head.

“Mommy? Daddy?” Jennifer’s drowsy voice croaked from the bed.

Eliza moved to her daughter and stroked her forehead.

“We’re sorry, sweetheart. We didn’t mean to wake you,” Eliza said.

“Why’s Daddy mad?”

“I’m not mad, peanut,” John leaned over to kiss her cheek. Here, I brought you something.”

“I love you, Daddy,” Jennifer whispered. She cuddled the bear and drifted back to sleep.

Eliza continued.

“I changed my mind, John. I didn’t want to go through with it. I realized it would have been the worst mistake of my life because if there was anything I knew for sure, it was that you were the love of my life.”

Eliza sensed the relief in his expression was fleeting, that he knew this wasn’t the end of it.

“He wouldn’t take no for an answer. I tried to leave. He shoved me, hit me and tore my clothes. I fought, John! I smashed a lamp over his head. I tried to scream but he covered my mouth, pinned me down, threatened to kill me.

John, I was raped.”

Deliverance and damnation.

Silence hung in the space between them.

“That creep assaulted you more than seven years ago and you kept it from me? How could you not tell me?” She couldn’t tell if he was more furious with her or her attacker.

“I wanted to tell you,” Eliza explained. “The next afternoon you came home early and finally told me about your financial troubles. I was so disgusted with myself for not trusting you.”

Together, she and John had resolved to rebuild their lives. He stopped drinking. Weeks later, he was thrilled beyond words with her news. Eliza was pregnant.

She read his thoughts while he gazed at Jennifer.

“John, I’m so sorry. I believe with all my soul that Jennifer is yours. I couldn’t risk telling you and have you fall apart again. She’s your daughter. I know it.”

To her own ears, the words were unconvincing and hollow.

John was through the door before Eliza could stop him and past the nurses’ station when he spotted the man in blue scrubs glancing over his shoulder, hurrying down the hall with quick strides. Wayne shoved an empty gurney across the hallway and ripped a stack of bedsheets out of the arms of a housekeeper, flinging them in John’s direction. He hammered the elevator button, then changed his mind and bolted for the stairway but John’s pace escalated and he was closing in behind him.

Both scrambled down the stairwell, circling the flights until they were on the main floor. Wayne charged for the hospital’s entrance and out into the rain and with a quick glance for cars, raced out into the street. John, blinded by his frantic pursuit, darted out after him.

Eliza flew through the hospital doors and watched Wayne hesitate on the other side of the street before dashing away with John halfway across.

“John!” She cried out, rushing after him.

Tires screeched before the impact. A woman nearby screamed.

The linen truck driver tried to brake, then smashed into Eliza, sending her through the air like a dummy.

“No! Eliza!” In an instant John was on his knees beside her. Blood trickled from an ugly gash on her head, her broken body lay twisted on the wet pavement like a grotesque mannequin. Her eyes fluttered open.

“Eliza, can you hear me?”

“John?” Eliza whispered. She felt his warm tears mingle with rain and blood.

“Eliza,”John sobbed.

She looked into his handsome face, memorizing every detail. He held her hand to his cheek and she felt his wet, sandy hair falling over his forehead. She let herself be lost in his loving eyes, the colour of a tropical sea and felt the softness of his kiss on her lips.

She turned her head to the side and faced the front lawn of the hospital where a spring garden lined the walkway. Tulips and daffodils offered brightness to the grey, chilly day. A robin hopped along the wet grass, her head tilting from side to side in search of worms.

And Eliza heard the words she would take with her.

“I love our little girl, Eliza. I would have loved her even if I knew she wasn’t mine. I promise, I’ll always take care of her and love her. I’ll always love you.” John pressed his face against Eliza’s.

She felt the cold rain cleanse her.

Eliza had made her choice.

Eliza’s Choice

It was him.

Eliza froze in the doorway, the involuntary prickling of her skin left no doubt in her mind.

He had his back to her, dressed in blue scrubs, yet Eliza recognized his stance, slim build and dark hair curling halfway down his neck. The male nurse hovered over her daughter’s bed.

Earlier that morning, she and her husband, John had rushed Jennifer to the hospital for an emergency appendectomy. They had paced in the waiting room, sick with worry, until the doctor returned from surgery and reassured them that their seven year old daughter would good as new in no time.

Ever the doting father, John had gone to the gift shop to find a present for his little girl.

Eliza moved closer.

“Get away from my daughter!” She hissed.

He lingered before turning to face her.

She faltered, reaching for the foot of the bed. Revulsion mixed with the smell of disinfectant soap threatened her stomach.

“I wondered when I’d see you again,” said Wayne.

“What are you doing here? You can’t be a nurse!”

“Sure, I can. Oh, Ellie. Did you think I’d forget the night we had together?” He stroked the long, raised scar on his forehead.

“Don’t call me that.”

The memory played out like a nightmare in her mind.

“The funny thing is, little Jennie here looks just like me, don’t you think? Curly hair, cute little nose. Brown eyes? I figure she’s about the right age, too, since that magical night.”

“Shut up!” Eliza glanced at Jennifer, afraid she’d wake her.

“What’s going on?” John stopped in the open doorway, regarding the male nurse with interest, a cinnamon teddy bear in his hand.

Eliza’s eyes pleaded with Wayne and were only met with his conniving grin.

“I’ll be back to check on our little angel.” Wayne brushed by John and Eliza felt the taunt hit its mark.

“What was that all about?” John frowned.

Eliza stood motionless, suspended in time, on the edge of reality. Her recollection of the night returned unbidden and she was paralyzed with fear.

Multiple scenarios played out in her mind.

She reasoned that Wayne was confident she wouldn’t talk. Cool, arrogant bastard. If she revealed what he had done, she would also be admitting her own foolish act. It was a terrible mistake, one that gnawed at her tortured soul all these years. She would keep it buried. But, what if Wayne tried to get to Jennifer, kidnap her, harm her? Could she keep living the lie?

“Eliza. What magical night?”

Eliza turned to her sleeping child and revelation surged through her like a wave of silver light. Her little girl was all that mattered. She might lose her husband but it was a risk she had to take. She no longer wanted to keep it inside of her. The only way out was through.

Guilt-ridden and terrified for the anguish she was about to cause her husband, Eliza took John’s hand, guiding him to the far side of the room.

“John, there’s something I have to tell you.”

“It has to do with him, doesn’t it,” said John.

“Yes.”

No turning back now. Breathe.

“Remember years ago when we were having problems in our marriage? You worked late every night. When you came home, you were so distant. I begged you to tell me what was going on but you wouldn’t talk to me. You drank all the time. We were both so miserable.”

He stared at the floor. She hated herself for tearing open the old wound.

“I thought you were having an affair,” Eliza said.

“I wasn’t!”

“Yes, but I was so sure, at the time. I was angry. One night, when you were passed out on the couch, I went to a bar. I lost count of the martinis. A man was eyeing me and I flirted with him. When he propositioned me to go to his hotel room, I went.”

“How could you?” John seethed.

“Because I wanted to hurt you. You didn’t give me any other reason for the way you were acting. You didn’t trust me enough to confide in me and tell me that your business was failing! You were too proud, wanted to fix things yourself, didn’t want my help.”

“So, you went to a hotel room with that guy, the one who just walked out of this room? You had sex with him? What the hell were you thinking?” John paced back and forth, rubbing his head.

“Mommy? Daddy?” Jennifer’s drowsy voice croaked from the bed.

Eliza moved to her daughter and stroked her forehead.

“We’re sorry, sweetheart. We didn’t mean to wake you,” Eliza said.

“Why’s Daddy mad?”

“I’m not mad, peanut,” John leaned over to kiss her cheek. Here, I brought you something.”

“I love you, Daddy,” Jennifer whispered. She cuddled the bear and drifted back to sleep.

Eliza continued.

“I changed my mind, John. I didn’t want to go through with it. I realized it would have been the worst mistake of my life because if there was anything I knew for sure, it was that you were the love of my life.”

Eliza sensed the relief in his expression was fleeting, that he knew this wasn’t the end of it.

“He wouldn’t take no for an answer. I tried to leave. He shoved me, hit me and tore my clothes. I fought, John! I smashed a lamp over his head. I tried to scream but he covered my mouth, pinned me down, threatened to kill me.

John, I was raped.”

Deliverance and damnation.

Silence hung in the space between them.

“That creep assaulted you more than seven years ago and you kept it from me? How could you not tell me?” She couldn’t tell if he was more furious with her or her attacker.

“I wanted to tell you,” Eliza explained. “The next afternoon you came home early and finally told me about your financial troubles. I was so disgusted with myself for not trusting you.”

Together, she and John had resolved to rebuild their lives. He stopped drinking. Weeks later, he was thrilled beyond words with her news. Eliza was pregnant.

She read his thoughts while he gazed at Jennifer.

“John, I’m so sorry. I believe with all my soul that Jennifer is yours. I couldn’t risk telling you and have you fall apart again. She’s your daughter. I know it.”

To her own ears, the words were unconvincing and hollow.

John was through the door before Eliza could stop him and past the nurses’ station when he spotted the man in blue scrubs glancing over his shoulder, hurrying down the hall with quick strides. Wayne shoved an empty gurney across the hallway and ripped a stack of bedsheets out of the arms of a housekeeper, flinging them in John’s direction. He hammered the elevator button, then changed his mind and bolted for the stairway but John’s pace escalated and he was closing in behind him.

Both scrambled down the stairwell, circling the flights until they were on the main floor. Wayne charged for the hospital’s entrance and out into the rain and with a quick glance for cars, raced out into the street. John, blinded by his frantic pursuit, darted out after him.

Eliza flew through the hospital doors and watched Wayne hesitate on the other side of the street before dashing away with John halfway across.

“John!” She cried out, rushing after him.

Tires screeched before the impact. A woman nearby screamed.

The linen truck driver tried to brake, then smashed into Eliza, sending her through the air like a dummy.

“No! Eliza!” In an instant John was on his knees beside her. Blood trickled from an ugly gash on her head, her broken body lay twisted on the wet pavement like a grotesque mannequin. Her eyes fluttered open.

“Eliza, can you hear me?”

“John?” Eliza whispered. She felt his warm tears mingle with rain and blood.

“Eliza,”John sobbed.

She looked into his handsome face, memorizing every detail. He held her hand to his cheek and she felt his wet, sandy hair falling over his forehead. She let herself be lost in his loving eyes, the colour of a tropical sea and felt the softness of his kiss on her lips.

She turned her head to the side and faced the front lawn of the hospital where a spring garden lined the walkway. Tulips and daffodils offered brightness to the grey, chilly day. A robin hopped along the wet grass, her head tilting from side to side in search of worms.

And Eliza heard the words she would take with her.

“I love our little girl, Eliza. I would have loved her even if I knew she wasn’t mine. I promise, I’ll always take care of her and love her. I’ll always love you.” John pressed his face against Eliza’s.

She felt the cold rain cleanse her.

Eliza had made her choice.

Eliza’s Choice

It was him.

Eliza froze in the doorway, the involuntary prickling of her skin left no doubt in her mind.

He had his back to her, dressed in blue scrubs, yet Eliza recognized his stance, slim build and dark hair curling halfway down his neck. The male nurse hovered over her daughter’s bed.

Earlier that morning, she and her husband, John had rushed Jennifer to the hospital for an emergency appendectomy. They had paced in the waiting room, sick with worry, until the doctor returned from surgery and reassured them that their seven year old daughter would good as new in no time.

Ever the doting father, John had gone to the gift shop to find a present for his little girl.

Eliza moved closer.

“Get away from my daughter!” She hissed.

He lingered before turning to face her.

She faltered, reaching for the foot of the bed. Revulsion mixed with the smell of disinfectant soap threatened her stomach.

“I wondered when I’d see you again,” said Wayne.

“What are you doing here? You can’t be a nurse!”

“Sure, I can. Oh, Ellie. Did you think I’d forget the night we had together?” He stroked the long, raised scar on his forehead.

“Don’t call me that.”

The memory played out like a nightmare in her mind.

“The funny thing is, little Jennie here looks just like me, don’t you think? Curly hair, cute little nose. Brown eyes? I figure she’s about the right age, too, since that magical night.”

“Shut up!” Eliza glanced at Jennifer, afraid she’d wake her.

“What’s going on?” John stopped in the open doorway, regarding the male nurse with interest, a cinnamon teddy bear in his hand.

Eliza’s eyes pleaded with Wayne and were only met with his conniving grin.

“I’ll be back to check on our little angel.” Wayne brushed by John and Eliza felt the taunt hit its mark.

“What was that all about?” John frowned.

Eliza stood motionless, suspended in time, on the edge of reality. Her recollection of the night returned unbidden and she was paralyzed with fear.

Multiple scenarios played out in her mind.

She reasoned that Wayne was confident she wouldn’t talk. Cool, arrogant bastard. If she revealed what he had done, she would also be admitting her own foolish act. It was a terrible mistake, one that gnawed at her tortured soul all these years. She would keep it buried. But, what if Wayne tried to get to Jennifer, kidnap her, harm her? Could she keep living the lie?

“Eliza. What magical night?”

Eliza turned to her sleeping child and revelation surged through her like a wave of silver light. Her little girl was all that mattered. She might lose her husband but it was a risk she had to take. She no longer wanted to keep it inside of her. The only way out was through.

Guilt-ridden and terrified for the anguish she was about to cause her husband, Eliza took John’s hand, guiding him to the far side of the room.

“John, there’s something I have to tell you.”

“It has to do with him, doesn’t it,” said John.

“Yes.”

No turning back now. Breathe.

“Remember years ago when we were having problems in our marriage? You worked late every night. When you came home, you were so distant. I begged you to tell me what was going on but you wouldn’t talk to me. You drank all the time. We were both so miserable.”

He stared at the floor. She hated herself for tearing open the old wound.

“I thought you were having an affair,” Eliza said.

“I wasn’t!”

“Yes, but I was so sure, at the time. I was angry. One night, when you were passed out on the couch, I went to a bar. I lost count of the martinis. A man was eyeing me and I flirted with him. When he propositioned me to go to his hotel room, I went.”

“How could you?” John seethed.

“Because I wanted to hurt you. You didn’t give me any other reason for the way you were acting. You didn’t trust me enough to confide in me and tell me that your business was failing! You were too proud, wanted to fix things yourself, didn’t want my help.”

“So, you went to a hotel room with that guy, the one who just walked out of this room? You had sex with him? What the hell were you thinking?” John paced back and forth, rubbing his head.

“Mommy? Daddy?” Jennifer’s drowsy voice croaked from the bed.

Eliza moved to her daughter and stroked her forehead.

“We’re sorry, sweetheart. We didn’t mean to wake you,” Eliza said.

“Why’s Daddy mad?”

“I’m not mad, peanut,” John leaned over to kiss her cheek. Here, I brought you something.”

“I love you, Daddy,” Jennifer whispered. She cuddled the bear and drifted back to sleep.

Eliza continued.

“I changed my mind, John. I didn’t want to go through with it. I realized it would have been the worst mistake of my life because if there was anything I knew for sure, it was that you were the love of my life.”

Eliza sensed the relief in his expression was fleeting, that he knew this wasn’t the end of it.

“He wouldn’t take no for an answer. I tried to leave. He shoved me, hit me and tore my clothes. I fought, John! I smashed a lamp over his head. I tried to scream but he covered my mouth, pinned me down, threatened to kill me.

John, I was raped.”

Deliverance and damnation.

Silence hung in the space between them.

“That creep assaulted you more than seven years ago and you kept it from me? How could you not tell me?” She couldn’t tell if he was more furious with her or her attacker.

“I wanted to tell you,” Eliza explained. “The next afternoon you came home early and finally told me about your financial troubles. I was so disgusted with myself for not trusting you.”

Together, she and John had resolved to rebuild their lives. He stopped drinking. Weeks later, he was thrilled beyond words with her news. Eliza was pregnant.

She read his thoughts while he gazed at Jennifer.

“John, I’m so sorry. I believe with all my soul that Jennifer is yours. I couldn’t risk telling you and have you fall apart again. She’s your daughter. I know it.”

To her own ears, the words were unconvincing and hollow.

John was through the door before Eliza could stop him and past the nurses’ station when he spotted the man in blue scrubs glancing over his shoulder, hurrying down the hall with quick strides. Wayne shoved an empty gurney across the hallway and ripped a stack of bedsheets out of the arms of a housekeeper, flinging them in John’s direction. He hammered the elevator button, then changed his mind and bolted for the stairway but John’s pace escalated and he was closing in behind him.

Both scrambled down the stairwell, circling the flights until they were on the main floor. Wayne charged for the hospital’s entrance and out into the rain and with a quick glance for cars, raced out into the street. John, blinded by his frantic pursuit, darted out after him.

Eliza flew through the hospital doors and watched Wayne hesitate on the other side of the street before dashing away with John halfway across.

“John!” She cried out, rushing after him.

Tires screeched before the impact. A woman nearby screamed.

The linen truck driver tried to brake, then smashed into Eliza, sending her through the air like a dummy.

“No! Eliza!” In an instant John was on his knees beside her. Blood trickled from an ugly gash on her head, her broken body lay twisted on the wet pavement like a grotesque mannequin. Her eyes fluttered open.

“Eliza, can you hear me?”

“John?” Eliza whispered. She felt his warm tears mingle with rain and blood.

“Eliza,”John sobbed.

She looked into his handsome face, memorizing every detail. He held her hand to his cheek and she felt his wet, sandy hair falling over his forehead. She let herself be lost in his loving eyes, the colour of a tropical sea and felt the softness of his kiss on her lips.

She turned her head to the side and faced the front lawn of the hospital where a spring garden lined the walkway. Tulips and daffodils offered brightness to the grey, chilly day. A robin hopped along the wet grass, her head tilting from side to side in search of worms.

And Eliza heard the words she would take with her.

“I love our little girl, Eliza. I would have loved her even if I knew she wasn’t mine. I promise, I’ll always take care of her and love her. I’ll always love you.” John pressed his face against Eliza’s.

She felt the cold rain cleanse her.

Eliza had made her choice.

Eliza’s Choice

It was him.

Eliza froze in the doorway, the involuntary prickling of her skin left no doubt in her mind.

He had his back to her, dressed in blue scrubs, yet Eliza recognized his stance, slim build and dark hair curling halfway down his neck. The male nurse hovered over her daughter’s bed.

Earlier that morning, she and her husband, John had rushed Jennifer to the hospital for an emergency appendectomy. They had paced in the waiting room, sick with worry, until the doctor returned from surgery and reassured them that their seven year old daughter would good as new in no time.

Ever the doting father, John had gone to the gift shop to find a present for his little girl.

Eliza moved closer.

“Get away from my daughter!” She hissed.

He lingered before turning to face her.

She faltered, reaching for the foot of the bed. Revulsion mixed with the smell of disinfectant soap threatened her stomach.

“I wondered when I’d see you again,” said Wayne.

“What are you doing here? You can’t be a nurse!”

“Sure, I can. Oh, Ellie. Did you think I’d forget the night we had together?” He stroked the long, raised scar on his forehead.

“Don’t call me that.”

The memory played out like a nightmare in her mind.

“The funny thing is, little Jennie here looks just like me, don’t you think? Curly hair, cute little nose. Brown eyes? I figure she’s about the right age, too, since that magical night.”

“Shut up!” Eliza glanced at Jennifer, afraid she’d wake her.

“What’s going on?” John stopped in the open doorway, regarding the male nurse with interest, a cinnamon teddy bear in his hand.

Eliza’s eyes pleaded with Wayne and were only met with his conniving grin.

“I’ll be back to check on our little angel.” Wayne brushed by John and Eliza felt the taunt hit its mark.

“What was that all about?” John frowned.

Eliza stood motionless, suspended in time, on the edge of reality. Her recollection of the night returned unbidden and she was paralyzed with fear.

Multiple scenarios played out in her mind.

She reasoned that Wayne was confident she wouldn’t talk. Cool, arrogant bastard. If she revealed what he had done, she would also be admitting her own foolish act. It was a terrible mistake, one that gnawed at her tortured soul all these years. She would keep it buried. But, what if Wayne tried to get to Jennifer, kidnap her, harm her? Could she keep living the lie?

“Eliza. What magical night?”

Eliza turned to her sleeping child and revelation surged through her like a wave of silver light. Her little girl was all that mattered. She might lose her husband but it was a risk she had to take. She no longer wanted to keep it inside of her. The only way out was through.

Guilt-ridden and terrified for the anguish she was about to cause her husband, Eliza took John’s hand, guiding him to the far side of the room.

“John, there’s something I have to tell you.”

“It has to do with him, doesn’t it,” said John.

“Yes.”

No turning back now. Breathe.

“Remember years ago when we were having problems in our marriage? You worked late every night. When you came home, you were so distant. I begged you to tell me what was going on but you wouldn’t talk to me. You drank all the time. We were both so miserable.”

He stared at the floor. She hated herself for tearing open the old wound.

“I thought you were having an affair,” Eliza said.

“I wasn’t!”

“Yes, but I was so sure, at the time. I was angry. One night, when you were passed out on the couch, I went to a bar. I lost count of the martinis. A man was eyeing me and I flirted with him. When he propositioned me to go to his hotel room, I went.”

“How could you?” John seethed.

“Because I wanted to hurt you. You didn’t give me any other reason for the way you were acting. You didn’t trust me enough to confide in me and tell me that your business was failing! You were too proud, wanted to fix things yourself, didn’t want my help.”

“So, you went to a hotel room with that guy, the one who just walked out of this room? You had sex with him? What the hell were you thinking?” John paced back and forth, rubbing his head.

“Mommy? Daddy?” Jennifer’s drowsy voice croaked from the bed.

Eliza moved to her daughter and stroked her forehead.

“We’re sorry, sweetheart. We didn’t mean to wake you,” Eliza said.

“Why’s Daddy mad?”

“I’m not mad, peanut,” John leaned over to kiss her cheek. Here, I brought you something.”

“I love you, Daddy,” Jennifer whispered. She cuddled the bear and drifted back to sleep.

Eliza continued.

“I changed my mind, John. I didn’t want to go through with it. I realized it would have been the worst mistake of my life because if there was anything I knew for sure, it was that you were the love of my life.”

Eliza sensed the relief in his expression was fleeting, that he knew this wasn’t the end of it.

“He wouldn’t take no for an answer. I tried to leave. He shoved me, hit me and tore my clothes. I fought, John! I smashed a lamp over his head. I tried to scream but he covered my mouth, pinned me down, threatened to kill me.

John, I was raped.”

Deliverance and damnation.

Silence hung in the space between them.

“That creep assaulted you more than seven years ago and you kept it from me? How could you not tell me?” She couldn’t tell if he was more furious with her or her attacker.

“I wanted to tell you,” Eliza explained. “The next afternoon you came home early and finally told me about your financial troubles. I was so disgusted with myself for not trusting you.”

Together, she and John had resolved to rebuild their lives. He stopped drinking. Weeks later, he was thrilled beyond words with her news. Eliza was pregnant.

She read his thoughts while he gazed at Jennifer.

“John, I’m so sorry. I believe with all my soul that Jennifer is yours. I couldn’t risk telling you and have you fall apart again. She’s your daughter. I know it.”

To her own ears, the words were unconvincing and hollow.

John was through the door before Eliza could stop him and past the nurses’ station when he spotted the man in blue scrubs glancing over his shoulder, hurrying down the hall with quick strides. Wayne shoved an empty gurney across the hallway and ripped a stack of bedsheets out of the arms of a housekeeper, flinging them in John’s direction. He hammered the elevator button, then changed his mind and bolted for the stairway but John’s pace escalated and he was closing in behind him.

Both scrambled down the stairwell, circling the flights until they were on the main floor. Wayne charged for the hospital’s entrance and out into the rain and with a quick glance for cars, raced out into the street. John, blinded by his frantic pursuit, darted out after him.

Eliza flew through the hospital doors and watched Wayne hesitate on the other side of the street before dashing away with John halfway across.

“John!” She cried out, rushing after him.

Tires screeched before the impact. A woman nearby screamed.

The linen truck driver tried to brake, then smashed into Eliza, sending her through the air like a dummy.

“No! Eliza!” In an instant John was on his knees beside her. Blood trickled from an ugly gash on her head, her broken body lay twisted on the wet pavement like a grotesque mannequin. Her eyes fluttered open.

“Eliza, can you hear me?”

“John?” Eliza whispered. She felt his warm tears mingle with rain and blood.

“Eliza,”John sobbed.

She looked into his handsome face, memorizing every detail. He held her hand to his cheek and she felt his wet, sandy hair falling over his forehead. She let herself be lost in his loving eyes, the colour of a tropical sea and felt the softness of his kiss on her lips.

She turned her head to the side and faced the front lawn of the hospital where a spring garden lined the walkway. Tulips and daffodils offered brightness to the grey, chilly day. A robin hopped along the wet grass, her head tilting from side to side in search of worms.

And Eliza heard the words she would take with her.

“I love our little girl, Eliza. I would have loved her even if I knew she wasn’t mine. I promise, I’ll always take care of her and love her. I’ll always love you.” John pressed his face against Eliza’s.

She felt the cold rain cleanse her.

Eliza had made her choice.